Initiation Possibility

written: December 17

Photo 626/1001



Awesome gift that John sent me. ::smiles:: Debating if I’ll keep this one to use at home, or if I’ll use it up at work.

I like the quiet mornings before Dustin (my supervisor) gets here. I can leisurely do whatever tasks I have before me and just enjoy the process. Once Dustin shows up, it’s all hands on deck, gotta get shit done asap. ::chuckles:: Which, nothing wrong with that. But I like the quieter pace.

This morning I got to watch a Great Blue Heron on our pond area for a while. It’s been a while since I’ve got to watch one hunt and eat fish. Most of the time, I just see them flying by. To me, they are the Thunder Bird, as I almost always see them flying after a good storm.

Faelind (High Priestess) called me this evening to chat about the possibility of me initiating into the Coven. I have been thinking about this for a while now and I am pretty sure this is where I need to be spirituality. So I have accepted her invitation for initiation. I just have to figure out what Saturday in March works for me, and then we’ll see about getting the rest of the Coven members on board for that day as well.

Faelind also mentioned that I may be the ONLY one initiating this year. I can’t remember when, but Elisa dropped out in late November, so it is just me and Nicki at this point. But Nicki is very closed off – and for me, the major introvert, to say that, is SAYING something. Don’t get me wrong, Nicki is a lovely lady, but I’m not sure Coven work agrees with her. And Faelind pretty much said the same thing.

Initiation isn’t something I am taking lightly. I know that it will increase the time demand the Coven makes on me, as I will be participating in Sabbats, Full Moons, and now New Moons (something only Initiates get to attend). And then there’s the whole sky-clad part (fancy witch speak for nude rituals). Faelind did say that the Initiation ritual is nude and I know the New Moon rituals are nude as well. Thankfully, though, there are no men in the Coven. If there were, I probably would not have elected to work with this group. Don’t get me wrong, men do have a place in Paganism and in Coven work…I just don’t want to work with them at this time. And there’s NO way I would trust men enough in less than a year, to do sky-clad rituals with.

I know I still carry a lot of baggage surrounding men from my less-than-positive encounters (ah yes, I’m hinting about my rape and about my psycho ex and daddy issues). And I know this is something that honestly, I do need to see out some therapy for. Maybe once my new health insurance kicks in and I can figure out what all it pays for and what my network looks like…then I can put in the time to find a therapist. But until then, I’ll keep my distrust wrapped around me like a security blanket. It’s harder to hurt me if I keep you at arm’s length.