Orchids

written:  July 25

Photo 481/1001



Beautiful orchids they have for sale at Tom Thumb. I had to swing by there after work and pick up my anti-depressant refill. It’s on an auto-refill, which is nice, because I usually forget to refill it until I only have one pill left and go into panic mode. Now I just get a text about a week before I run out, that my prescription is ready for pick up.

Today was a rather quiet, productive day at work. I just continued labeling, tagging, and scanning the Apple TVs. As of today, I have 474 done out of the 899 total. So a little bit over half way done. I’m actually a little bummed that I probably won’t get to complete this project. We have Friday off (our last one). And then Monday through Wednesday of next week, I’ll be working for the after school program, stream lining binders and directions for ALL 42 campuses AND for 39 floaters (what we call our subs).

Doing This for ME

written:  July 24

Photo 480/1001



Two feathers I found on my walk with Josey-pup today. Gray feather is most likely from a dove. And the blue one is obviously from a blue jay.

I got on the elliptical after that and banged that out. Honestly, once I get past the 7-minute mark, it no longer SUCKS, so it’s just about putting in the time at that point. I’ve been listening to Omnia while I am on the elliptical. It gives me something to focus on other than the fact that this shit sucks! ::laughs:: And I figure as long as I can still sing along with most of the songs, I’m not dying. It always surprises me how good my cardio is, given how little cardio I do. I have to stop because my knees are weak, not because I’m out of breath.

And can I just say, I find it so incredibly empowering when I go upstairs after walking Josey-pup and doing my time on the elliptical to hit the showers…and I just have sweat rolling down my back and chest. I’ve stopped to really look at myself in the mirror, completely nude, with sweat slicking me down, and my hair sticking to my neck and back…and damn. I’m a beast.

I may never run any marathon. I may never be a tri-athlete. I may never be a model or on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Hell I may never have a flat stomach.

BUT. I’m fucking killing it right now.
I’m not doing this so I can look good in a swim suit.
Hell, I’m not really even doing it to lose weight.

I’m doing this for me. I’m doing this, to show myself just how fucking powerful I am.
I am doing this because my body needs the activity.
I’m doing this so I can be in good enough shape so I can take those Krav Maga classes that I’ve been talking about for YEARS.
I’m doing this 100% for ME.

My time on the elliptical is time that is 100% ME time. It’s all about me. It’s a time focused solely me. It’s my time when all my worries fade to the back of my mind and all I’m focusing on in the moment is my breath, the music, the beat of my heart, the dripping sweat, and the sweet balance of strength and fatigue in my legs. And I love the heat that courses through my body as it gets all active. Then comes the cool shower. I swear, nothing is as refreshing as a cool shower to wash all the sweat off. The almost cold water on my scalp? Damn near euphoric. And I picked up some body scrub at Tuesday Morning that smells AMAZING. I’m only using it after I walk Josey-pup and use the elliptical, kind of like a positive reward. ::smiles::

Stronger

written:  July 23

Photo 479/1001



Putting in the work on some Coven homework. I’ve gotten quite a bit of it done. Still have more to do. ::sighs:: I am vowing now to do better about staying on top of my assignments from now on. Hopefully, once I get all caught up, it will be significantly more manageable.

Psycho Ex has been on my mind a bit lately. I’m hoping to meet up with an on-line buddy in Atlanta, Georgia later on this year. And of course, Atlanta is where my Psycho Ex lives. I also plan to visit two buddies that live there – one of which is still semi-friends with Psycho Ex. I was tempted to reach out to James and to please make sure he doesn’t say anything about me coming to Atlanta. I didn’t want to run into Psycho Ex. But, then I got to thinking about it.

Fuck it. I almost hope I do run into Psycho Ex. I am not afraid of him anymore. And that realization was so…shocking…but empowering. Because I’m not. I’m not afraid of him. I almost hope he does “accidentally” run into me. Because nothing would give me more satisfaction than to tell him to fuck off to his face.

Because, it will be so unnerving for him. I’ve always been submissive to him, even after we broke up. He always had me twisted up inside, not sure what to do. And my default behavior, when I’m confused or unsure of what to do, is to be nice. To be civil. To be forgiving.

Well, let me tell you this. That submissive personality is gone now. I’m standing more and more in my own power now. I’m speaking up. I’m speaking out. I’m pushing back and questioning things. I’m challenging shitty people and shitty behavior. And to be able to do that to him? In person? It really would be the final nail in that damn coffin, and I can happy bury that shit and be done with it.
Hell, I was even tempted to tell James to hint around that I would be in town to Psycho Ex.

But there’s a fine line between being bold and being fool-hardy. And I’m not fool-hardy.

If it happens, it happens. I’m prepared for it. No sense in actively provoking the beast.

Creed

written:  July 22

Photo 478/1001



Harry Potter stickers I found at Target awhile back.

So I’m taking the next step with the Coven. I have to dedicate to my Path in ritual. Which, honestly, seems silly to me, given that I’ve been a Pagan since 1996. I am more than dedicated to this Path. ::laughs:: But, it’s required if I plan to go any further. So I’ll be doing that this weekend during our Lammas ritual.

For that, I’ll be reading my personal creed that I had to write as a part of my “evil homework” since I missed the class on Magical Ethics. ::chuckles::

I am a Witch
Both wise and naïve
Both light and dark.

My purpose is to master myself
To make manifest my desires in the world
To better myself and those I call family

I strive to bring honor to all of my family
And my ancestors.
And I strive to remember that I am a product
Of a thousand loves
And can call on that love at any time.

For me the world is a playground
Full of wonderful and frightening things
It is my blessing to put more Wonderful out there
And to understand the Frightening, so that
It can be healed and transformed.

I know that while I strive for the Balance
I will slip and slide to each side.
But it is up to me
To continue taking up the challenge.

May I always trod the Crooked Path
With integrity
May I always remain in the good graces
Of Sekhmet, the Harpies, and of myself.

Sausage Balls

written:  July 21

Photo 477/1001



Sausage balls. It’s what’s for dinner. ::chuckles::

How can you tell that Wolfie is procrastinating? She is doing all sorts of things that she normally wouldn’t. Like cooking sausage balls.

I have done quite a bit of my outstanding Coven homework. And I’ve begun working on my resume. But yeah, I’m finding myself very skittish on both accounts. ::shakes her head::

I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not striving for The Perfect Resume ™. The best resume is a WRITTEN resume. So I just need to write the damn thing. That’s always the hardest hurdle to clear. After that, it’s just about tweaking and polishing.

Survey

written:  July 20

What brand of eyeliner do you use?
I don’t wear any make-up, so I don’t use eyeliner.

Though that may change when I get a library job….so.  Yeah.  I’ll have to watch a ton of YouTube tutorials to help this TomBoy out.  ::laughs::

How long were you with your last boyfriend?
Hmm, I don’t even know who I dated before my husband….I did swear off men for like a year.  ::chuckles::  Even then, I was only dating guys for a few months before I would kick ‘em to the curb.  I wasn’t making very good choices in men at the time.

Have you ever been sexually harassed?
Are we talking just today?  Or ever? 
Yeah, that shit happens so much that half the time now, it barely even registers with me.  ::shrugs::  One of the “perks” of being female.

Are you in a “I wouldn’t mind if I lost 50 pounds” kind of mood?
50 pounds would be almost too much weight to lose for me.  40?  Yeah, I would be all over that like a fat kid on a cupcake….which is why I need to lose 40 pounds.  ::laughs::

Have you ever sent a naughty text message?
Um, super Scorpio here….you bet your ass I have.  ::laughs::

Are you more worried about marriage or a career?
Career, seeing as how I’m about to do a MASSIVE career change…and I don’t deal with change very well.

Are you a good liar?
Again, super Scorpio here.  Of course I am.  Though, I only use it when I absolutely have to.

Which side of the bed do you sleep on?
Um, all of it?  Hubs and I have separate bedrooms, so I have my bed all to myself.  And I am a roaming sleeper.  I roll all over the bed and sleep on all the sides throughout the night.  So yeah, I don’t think he would be appreciative of me telling him every 2 hours or so to switch me sides.  ::laughs::

Do you speak any foreign languages?
I wish.  Though, I do have plans to begin learning Spanish (for career purposes) and Russian (for myself).

Are you on good terms with your most recent ex?
Yeah, pretty good terms.  Honestly, I only keep in touch with 2 of my exes, and only one on a regular basis.  All the rest, yeah….I don’t want to have anything to do with them, or they don’t want to have anything to do with me (and I respect that wish).

Who has texted you today?
No one.  I am going through a Dudley the Pug withdraw.  ::chuckles::

Have you ever been at a tailgating party?
Nope.

Who taught you how to ride a bicycle?
My mom.

How long have you had your pets?
Leviathan (my lovely little serpent) I’ve had for 12 years now.  Josey-pup for 3 years.

Have you ever bought a condom?
Yes.  I wasn’t stupid enough to trust men to always have condoms on them (plus, they tended to carry condoms in their wallets, which breaks down condoms), and I had ZERO interest in getting knocked up, so I always had my own stash.

Do you own a strapless bra?
I own a strapless corset, does that count?

What would you name your daughter if you had one tomorrow?
If I had a daughter tomorrow, I would be hella pissed – I paid damn good money to get my tubes tied AND my uterus ablated so I WOULDN’T have kids.

But, before my decision to not have children, I had the name Sage Lorraine or Raven Lorraine picked out if I were to have a daughter.

Is money important to you?
To a certain point, yes.  You have to have it to survive in this society.

What color was the last scarf you wore?
Red – one that Sam, David’s coworker that claimed me as her wife, made me.  Man, I miss her.  It was always fun when she would introduce me as her wife, and then David as my husband.  There was a look of serious confusion on those people’s faces.  ::chuckles::

Are you spending the weekend with the last person you kissed?
Of course, I live with him!  ::laughs::

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted?
::checks her phone::  Yeah, the last person I text was Hazel Nut.  I am not a fan of that level of crazy in a sexual partner, so yeah, I’m going to pass on that.

Have you hugged anyone in the last 72 hours?

Yes.

Do you hate the last male you had a conversation with?
No.  Why would I talk to anyone that I hated?

Are you nice to everyone?
Sure.  Until they give me a reason not to be nice, and then my claws come out.

Is it possible to be single and happy?
Yep.  I did that for a number of years.

Are you happy with the way things are going?

::side eyes::  Like in general?  In my life?  In this survey?  Wayyyyy too broad of a question.

Do you change your phone background a lot?
I think I’ve changed my phone’s background twice in the 4+ years I’ve had it.

Do you wish someone would call or text you right now?
Only if it’s my Mom with Dudley photos/videos, or Hazel Nut saying she wants to do Tarot and Tea tomorrow.

Are you listening to any music?
Nope.  I like the peace and quiet.

Who was the last person to tell you that they love you, other than family?
Husband.  Though, technically, he’s family.  So non-family would be Hazel Nut.

Did your boyfriend/girlfriend say I love you to you today?
::pouty face::  I don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend. 

But yes, my husband has told me he loves me today.

Did you sleep alone last night?
Yep.  Not counting the spirits hanging out in my room.  ::grins and winks::

Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend in 6 months?
Only if David decides that’s a route we would want to pursue.  And given how we are such homebodies, even if it WAS something we were thinking about, I doubt we’d actually act on it.  Because that would be going OUT and meeting PEOPLE.  Ick. 

Missing anybody?
I am missing Holly-do (previous dog we had). 

Wouldn’t it be kinda annoying to have to share a bed every night?
Yeah, that’s why I don’t.  ::laughs::

Do you have more or less than five real best friends?
I have a lot of people that I know I could call on in a crisis and they would do whatever they could to help.  Just as they know I would do the same for them.  But I’m not really a person to just hang out with most of the time.  I would rather be at home, with my husband and dog, just chillin’.

Drinking

written:  July 20

Photo 476/1001



David spotted these at the liquor store when we went to pick up another bottle of Bailey’s (woohoo, Irish Russians, here I come!). We might have to pick up a bottle in the future just because it has my birth name. ::smiles::

It was a lovely quiet day here at the house. I did some boring, but necessary tasks. Like cleaning out my LetterMo “friends” to ones that have actually written me more than ONE DAMN LETTER. ::chuckles:: Ok, bear with me, I’ve been drinking.
A Lot.
And I normally don’t drink.
So.
Yeah.

ANYWAYS. Yeah, cleaned that friends list out. And I balanced my check book. And ordered more checks, seeing as how I’m down to my last five checks somehow?

Postcards

written:  July 19

Photo 475/1001



Who took the Josey-puppers for a long walk AND then got her ass on the elliptical for the third day in a row?

Yep, THIS CHIC!

All in all, a good day.

Postcrossing wrote a post about how the 150th anniversary of the Postcard is coming up (October 1st). You know I’ll be all over that like a fat kid on a cupcake. ::chuckles:: My ultimate goal is to send out 150 postcards on that date, but I’m not sure I’m going to be able to swing that. ::laughs:: But it’s something fun to strive towards. I figure if I send a postcard to everyone I know AND max out the amount of postcards I can send through Postcrossing at the moment (16), that SHOULD get me a very respectable number. ::chuckles::

Sun Worship

written:  July 18

Photo 474/1001



My fabulous sun-loving puppers. She seriously ADORES sun bathing. Every morning, without fail, she comes outside with David and just sun bathes. On the weekends, since I get up first, I get to go sit outside with her while she sun bathes for a while. Honestly, I should toss on a bathing suit and go lay out with her. I certainly could stand to get some sun on this pale, pale body of mine.

Other that, it was a pretty quiet day. We celebrated Franky’s birthday today (though, it’s tomorrow), so there were even more sweets at work. I swear, I’ve never had a major sweet-tooth during my life thus far, but man, this summer is making up for it all. ::laughs:: I am going to seriously have to detox after all of this sugar. Eventually. But for now, bring it on!

First Step

written:  July 17

Photo 473/1001



This is what the god and goddess artwork that I showed a teaser of last week was ultimately used for – a god and goddess candle. Sucks that a shitty head space and a headache kept me from the Coven ritual in which these would have been used. Oh well, I’m going to incorporate them into my own personal practice, so no loss there. These are the candles I was talking about yesterday.

So I got a wild hair up my ass today. I took Josey-pup on a walk AND used the elliptical. I read a cool little article “How Running a Little Bit Every Day for 2 Months Changed My Life”. And then there’s been a smattering of other “little steps are better than zero steps” memes on Facebook. So I’m taking all of that as a sign to get my ass MOVING. So I’m setting my goal to walk Josey every single day (even if it is a short walk due to weather) AND to do at least 10 minutes (minimum) every day on the elliptical from now until my birthday in November. I’ve told David about my goal, to help make me a bit more accountable to sticking to my guns.

This will also force me to be better about taking care of myself as well. It’s been way too easy to put off taking a shower or cleaning my face (even though I have this fabulous rose-infused witch hazel) or brushing my teeth. So by taking Josey-pup for a walk, I am guaranteeing that I’m going to be hot and sweaty at the end of it. So I might as well do the 10 minutes (minimum) on the elliptical, because I’m already hot and sweaty. And then because I’m all hot and sweaty at this point, I HAVE to take a shower. And while I’m in the shower, trying to cool down, I can go ahead and wash my face (because it’s all hot and sweaty).

Changes

written:  July 16

Photo 472/1001



My new selenite “unicorn horn” wand that I blessed by the full moon light tonight.

It’s a symbol of a change I’m consciously making in my Craft currently. I’m moving back into the Lighter aspects of Witchcraft. I have been playing in the shadows and the night and the dark for long enough. I’m feeling the call to come back to the daylight. So yeah, the selenite unicorn horn wand will be the one I use in my own rituals for a while. I think I’ll wrap up my deer bone wand and let it rest until the dark half of the year rolls back around.

I plan to use the goddess AND the god candle in my rituals as well. I figure this would be a good time to experiment and see how working with a male energy in my personal rituals works out. If it does, cool. That’s a new layer I can add to my rituals. And if it doesn’t work out, I at least tried. ::chuckles::

Happy Mail Day

written:  July 15

Photo 471/1001



Happy mail day for sure! Dorene’s journal arrived today and it’s a journal she’s used in previous swaps. So it was cool to look through the pages I did, like this one, celebrating Leviathan’s THIRD hatch-day! Leviathan will be celebrating her 13th hatch-day this September. ::smiles:: Oh, and my silver Medusa coin finally arrived (talk about the slow boat from China).

So yeah, I will definitely be making an updated page in Dorene’s journal about Leviathan. ::smiles:: And of course, my Mom’s ADORABLE new little pug puppy will grace some of the pages as well. Seriously, I look forward to my daily Dudley updates from my Mom. This little pug has a thousand pounds of personality in such a tiny little pug body. ::laughs::

Super Hero

Photo 470/1001



I liked the insect trails on the branches David just cut down from the Ancient Mulberry tree in our front yard.

I kind of want to keep them, but have zero idea what I would actually DO with them. Maybe I can use them to make a border around my rosebush? When the wall-neighbor re-did his fence (that separates our yard from his yard), we’ve been getting a lot of his clay dirt when it rains and it’s all puddling around my rosebush. Which means, when I try to water my rosebush, the water runs off the clay and it has a very hard time actually penetrating the ground. So maybe I could use the logs as a backstop, so at least SOME of the water makes it down into the bush’s roots. Honestly, I’m tempted to plug up some of the small holes in the fence line to try to keep that damn clay out of my yard.

I’m currently rocking hour 22 into a mid-level headache. This storm that is brewing better be fucking amazing and it sure as shit better not blue-ball me.

So yeah, between the headache and the damn brain weasels being SUPER SHITTY today, I am not going to ritual/class tonight with the Coven. I just couldn’t even muster up the desire to drive over there, let alone participate. So of course, the brain weasels are REALLY latching on that and being extra ugly right now. Seriously, just want to curl up in a ball in my bed and cry. Yeah, that ain’t good energy to bring into ritual.

I came across an article about the perfect resume according to Harvard University. You KNOW I read that, along with another article linked to it called “6 things I loved about the most impressive resume I’ve ever seen – based on my 20 years of hiring and interviewing”. Because, with titles like that and given that I’m currently completely redoing my resume, those were just too good to pass up.

My plan is to work on my resume this week and begin applying for jobs by Friday. I’ve been dragging my feet on this for too long (and have been VASTLY avoiding it for whatever reason), and that stops now. Yeah, I may feel like a fraud. I may feel like I have no business applying for these jobs. But damn it, I did a Master’s degree while working AND battling some of the roughest patches of my depression in AGES. And I did it with a 3.666 final cumulative GPA and without having to be committed or having a major psychotic break. That ain’t fraud, that’s super hero level shit. And I need to OWN that and focus on THAT.

Family Nap Time

written:  July 13

Photo 469/1001



Beautiful, almost Full Moon gracing the sky.

We did lunch with David’s co-workers today. Always fun. I really enjoy Tino and Martha, and John and Erica. The food was descent this time around – not great but not bad. I’ll have to remember to stick with the fettuccine alfredo from now on.

Other than that, I’ve been rocking a low-grade headache most of the day and my restlessness has been at an all-time high.

And because we are such the wild couple, when we got back from lunch with David’s co-workers….we took a family nap. ::laughs:: Me, David, and Josey snoozed for a good hour or so in David’s bed. It was kind of nice as we don’t usually do that.

Witch Crafting

written:  July 12

Photo 468/1001



It was a good day for witch crafting. I officially LOVE my wood burner. I foresee a LOT of projects utilizing the wood burner in my future.

The banishing incense has been made. It ended up being more labor-intensive than I thought it would be, but it will be worth it in the end. I just need to add the whole star anise and let it “ferment”.
It also feels good to have Psycho Ex re-blocked on Facebook. Granted, it’s not like I expected him to do anything or try to contact me. But it’s just nice to be able to have that avenue closed again. Just in case.

I went ahead and “snoozed” quite a few people on Facebook. While I do want to know all the stuff that is going on, there really is only so much heartbreak I can handle. And I’ve hit my limit and I’ve just got to step away from it for a bit.

Seriously, I just think I’m in dire need of a vacation. I just want to drive somewhere new, leave the computer behind, and just be anonymous for a bit. I want to dye my hair that fabulous blue again and shave part of my head. I want to get a tattoo. I just want to be someone different…somewhere different…for a little while.

Crafty

written:  July 11

Photo 467/1001



Getting Crafty over here. For the ritual on Sunday, I am slated to decorate the altar. Which means, I have to have a god and goddess candles. Well….I don’t have those because I don’t use them. ::chuckles:: So I’m making some. And thus far, I really like the way they’ve turned out. I also picked up a few other little things for the altar. The theme of the ritual is “Reflect” and that’s all the information I’ve been given. Which, I kind of like being mostly in the dark about it. It is really stretching my creativity.

I ended up leaving work a little early today because we finished up all the iPads and they didn’t have anything else for me to do. I mean, I probably could have stayed a few hours, but I had a shit ton of errands I needed to do. So I figured my time would be better spent doing that. Besides, I don’t want my bosses getting in trouble if people see me just sitting around on the clock. Better to leave a little early today and make sure I have a job next week. ::chuckles::

Storm

written:  July 10

Photo 466/1001


Fabulous storms rolled through today. I had enough time to get home from work (which, was a MUCH better day than yesterday), do a few things around the house before this storm rolled in. Beautiful thunder and lightning and a TON of rain. I thought it would be a blast to play in the rain. I opened up the door and this massive bolt of lightning cracked across the sky followed by a deafening boom that rattled the house. And I said NOPE to playing out there and shut the door. ::laughs::

Progress

written:  July 09

Photo 465/1001



Teaser photo. Yep, my copy of The Last Unicorn Tarot Deck FINALLY came in! It’s about the ONLY good thing today.

Luckily, no nightmares last night. But damn, I was BUSY in my dreams – leading two different revolutions PLUS capturing and kidnapping Horus, an Egyptian god. But hey, I will take that ANY DAY over having nightmares about the Psycho-Ex. So yay! Progress. ::chuckles::

Work…ug. I don’t even really want to go into the shit show that was today. Suffice it to say, it was all about white privilege, “quiet” racism, and some serious entitlement. They were talking about a young child (I’m talking like 2 years old) that went missing and was found the next day, deceased in the back of an SUV. They were commenting about how “those types of people” (aka, non-white) don’t take care of their children. ::sighs:: But you know if it had been a white family, they would have been talking about what a “tragedy” it was. ::shakes her head::

Yeah, I went home with a tension migraine at 12:30. I just couldn’t be there any longer. Plus, I was still pretty wrung out from the previous evening’s crap. Sometimes, I seriously despise my State. It’s really hard being a liberal in Texas. And now, with Texas being a swing state…those dividing lines are just that much more pronounced.

Honestly, I’m just tired of people being shitty.

Do The Work

Photo 464/1001



Nothing changes if you don’t put in the work.
A bit of sigil work. This will be burned into the wood this weekend (along with a sigil I’ll be tracing on a wooden box – different from this one in all ways).

My adorable little mortar and pestle arrived today, so I’ve been feeling extra witchy this evening. figured I should get around to really figuring out some sigil work for two upcoming witchy activities.

The sigil above is for a banishing incense I dreamt about a while back (November 2018) that I’ve been slowly gathering the supplies for. This sigil will be burned into the wooden lid of the jar that will contain the incense.

The final ingredient for that incense was to link it to my Psycho Ex. What better way than to use his photo in it? But that required me to unblock him on Facebook so that I could sift through his photos to find the right now. And Facebook has this rule that if you unblock someone, you have to wait a full 48 hours before you can reblock them.

I didn’t realize how much he still affected me. And honestly, it wasn’t so much the photos. It was all the people just fawning all over him, saying what a great guy he is for whatever reason.

And more than that, it was the friends we have in common that honestly hurt the most. The friends that he’s fucked over, that he’s raped, that he’s abused, that he’s bullied, that KNOW what a predator he is…and yet. They are still there, drinking the damn kool-aide and thanking him for the poison. That turned my stomach so much.

They claim he’s changed. But a leopard does not change its spots so easily. Sure I was a shitbag in a number of my relationships because I was young, self-centered, and STUPID. I’ve done what I can to make amends to anyone I hurt back then. I’ve made it a point to reach out to my various exes that I know I did not treat as well as they deserved and have point-blank apologized for my shitty behavior, no excuses given.

But you don’t stop being a predator overnight. No matter how shitty I may have behaved, I sincerely doubt I have left anyone seriously scarred. I never got people drunk for the sole purpose of having sex with them (and they made it clear, while sober, and on many occasions, they were not interested in sleeping with him at all). I never told my significant other repeatedly how sexually attracted I was to their various friends…or parental figures. (Yeah, he used to really enjoy telling me how much he sexually desired my mother).

I could go on and on with the horrible shit he’s done, but what’s the point? It seems I’m the only one who sees him for what he is.

So yeah, while I wait for the next 48 hours to pass so that I can reblock him…I will make note of the friends we still have in common. And I will be asking myself, seriously, should I keep them as friends?

Yeah, poured myself a very stiff drink for tonight and I hope that I don’t have any nightmares.

All in all, it reminds me why I’m doing this banishing incense for damn sure. I want every remnant of him GONE from my life. And if that means certain mutual “friends” go as well? So fucking be it.

Rose-Infused Witch Hazel

written:  July 07

Photo 463/1001



My rose-infused witch hazel is finally done and ready to be used.

It smells DIVINE. I’m so stoked to try this out.

Irish Russians

written:  July 06



Photo 462/1001



No better way to celebrate getting that Master’s degree than to drink our “Irish Russians” (Kahlua, Vodka, and Bailey’s), with a storm FINALLY rolling in.

I’ve been suffering from Storm Blue Balls all goddamn week. All week, it’s LOOKED like it was going to storm…but never would.

But I finally got my storm tonight. Beautiful lightning and thunder and rain.

There may have been some “public nudity” involved….

Masters

written:  July 05

Photo 461/1001



I finally found out that I PASSED my end of program exam! Which means I get my Master’s degree!

Granted, the email I read made it sound like I had failed one of the essays (which would mean, I would fail the whole thing). Talk about having your heart bottom out. I was damn near in tears. So then I logged into the Canvas site to see which essay I failed and what their feedback was. And I sat there, looking at, scratching my head saying “Huh. This says I passed each one”. It took a while for it to sink in…that I PASSED and I will be getting my Master’s degree.

So that’s what it’s like to be a rapid-cycling bipolar. In the span of 10 minutes I went from completely bottoming out to the highest level euphoria. I seriously needed a nap after that – it was exhausting.

I spent the rest of the day working in Ali’s journal. I did find a mini Dutch-oven at Tuesday Morning for a good price. It’ll be used as a cauldron in any future rituals, but it was mostly purchased for when I start making the rose beads I talked about in yesterday’s entry.

NOW begins the fun of creating my new resume and start hunting for jobs. It would be REALLY nice if I could find something good to start in August, so I don’t have to the after school program. Though, like my Mom did say, if I can only get a part-time library job, then it would be nice to still work the after school program until I can land a full time gig.

Rose Beads and Fireworks

written:  July 04

Photo 460/1001



My notes on how to make rose beads. I definitely want to make these.

We didn’t do anything to celebrate the 4th of July. I’m not overly proud of my country or our leadership currently.

Other than that, we just hung out at the house, relaxing. It was rather nice.

Around midnight, the neighbors a street over started shooting off their own fireworks, so I actually got to see fireworks this year. When we first moved in, we could see the city’s fireworks from our house and that was pretty cool. We would sit outside. David would smoke, I would just hang out, and just watch the fireworks and talk about anything and everything that popped into our heads. The next year the city moved the location of their fireworks. So we can hear them, but we can’t see them. And we aren’t going to fight the crowds to go see them

On the Upswing

written:  July 03

Photo 459/1001



The teen boys built a castle with all their empty boxes in the back where they are working.



Us girls (there’s only three of us), may have to band together and storm their castle and claim it in the name of Her Vagesty!

I can’t believe I didn’t write about “Her Vagesty”. It just shows how OUT of it I was yesterday. Anyways, on a friend’s post about vaginas (because, that’s what women talk about, especially since the medical profession likes to ignore most of our health issues, so we have to discuss it among ourselves), another friend posted about calling her vagina “Her Vagesty”. I barked cackled so loud at that title that Josey-pup had to come check on me. ::laughs:: And this is what I shall call my vagina from now on and I SERIOUSLY want to get a crown tattoo right above her. ::laughs::

And the quote I was trying to find yesterday for the photo and to sum up my emotionally turmoil was actually “Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light” by Albus Dumbledore. I’m planning out an art journal page just for that quote.

Deluminator

Photo 458/1001



“When things seem most dark, it will show him the light” – from Dumbledor’s last will and testament about his gift of the deluminator to Ron Weasley. Photo is just symbolism for that. I could really use a deluminator right about now.

::sighs:: Yeah, I’m not sure what my problem was today, but depression was BAD all damn day.

The weather was nice around 6 pm, so I decided I should take Josey-pup for a walk, hoping it would lift my spirits. I just ended up grumpier and sweaty. ::chuckles::

Cape Cod

written:  July 01

Photo 457/1001



A lovely postcard from Cape Cod, made even better since it’s from a long-time journaling buddy, John. ::smiles:: Totally made my day.

Which, man, I don’t get me. I got the best news yesterday (that Sara the Horrible isn’t in the Coven any more) and I was so pumped about everything else with the Coven. And then today, I’m just kind of “meh” about everything.

Maybe it’s the new moon? Maybe it’s the eclipse that’s supposed to happen with it? Or maybe I’m just having an off day.

Either way, this house seriously NEEDS to be smudged down, re-blessed, and the wards need sprucing up, just in case. Hopefully I can get that done Friday, while David is at work. It’s just easier to do it all without him complaining of the sage smell/smoke. ::laughs::

HURRAY!!!!!!

written:  June 30

Photo 456/1001



I finished up my god representation art piece. And I’m actually pretty pleased with it. Plus it’s a piece that doesn’t scream “god”, so I don’t have an issue with hanging it up on my altar. ::smiles::

So, I’m not going to lie, I was kind of dreading going to Coven class today. Because I just had zero desire to be around Sara, the Black Hole. BUT!!!!!

The High Priestess announced that Sara has elected to withdraw from the Coven. Given her possession level and the fact that she’s having a hard time getting her meds regulated, she didn’t feel like it was a safe place for either her or the Coven at this time.

Talk about a MASSIVE weight lifted off of my shoulders. She’s gone! Woohoo! And while Sara was talking about maybe coming back next year, the High Priestess said that honestly, it will probably be two years before the Coven accepts students again. So, for the time being, she’s gone for at LEAST two years. ::huge sigh of relief::

The rest of class was pretty awesome. I’m geared up for the assignments and really excited.