Guilty

written:  June 17

Photo 443/1001



I damn near forgot to take a photo today. Like this selfie is of me, right as I was about to nod off to sleep when I realized, SHIT – I haven’t taken a photo today! ::laughs:: Yeah, so that’s how I art sometimes! ::laughs::

I don’t know where the day went. I mean, yeah, I worked at the Tech Job which is 7:30 am to 4:30 pm. And my husband doesn’t get home until 8 pm. And then I usually head to bed around 9:30 pm. But yeah…no clue what happened in all that time. ::laughs::

Ok, so I did get sucked into watching the Scared compilations on YouTube. Seriously, I will lose HOURS of my life watching those and cracking up.

Ah, I remember now. I took Josey for a walk around 6 pm. The neighbors down the street were fighting in the front yard – I think they are siblings. And mom was out there cheering them on, telling them to whoop each other’s ass.

Honestly, I was surprised at how that brought on a TON of anxiety. Like, almost PTSD stuff. My anxiety went through the roof, but I didn’t recognize it until after I had finished the walk and returned home. The super shitty part was that they had their little mop of a dog out (off leash, because it’s never ON leash), and Josey-pup does this thing when she sees another dog. She hunkers down completely and refuses to go anywhere. David says it’s because she wants to play. I know better. This is a hunting stance. Granted, even when the dogs do come up to us, Josey doesn’t attack or bite or any of that. But it’s a hunting stance for damn sure. And I’m pretty positive that if she wasn’t on leash and we weren’t standing right there, she’d have a go at the dogs.

But anyways, so Josey keeps hunkering down and I’m just trying to get HOME at this point. And the neighbors are still fighting in the front yard and no one is paying any damn attention to the dog. So I’m just pulling and pulling and dragging Josey, just trying to get HOME. Because of my pulling, she has a small scrape on her leg and lemme tell you. I feel like complete SHIT over this.

But I’m utterly LIVID at the neighbors now for creating this whole situation. The fist fight in the front goddamn yard that triggered me. Me, having not had any issues like this in a LONG time, not recognizing my spiraling mental health in the situation. Then their fuck ass mutt never being on a goddamn leash. Josey wanting to hunt and eat the damn thing and is not paying me any attention. So I have to drag her 50-pound ass halfway down the street to home before she starts walking on her own. And me realizing I scraped her leg. So yeah, I sure as shit reported their dog as a stray and I sure as shit called the cops on the two fighting in the front yard. And you can kiss my ass if you think I feel one BIT bad about doing that.

Now, if only I could stop feeling so damn guilty about the little scrape on Josey-pup…