Last Day of 2016

I’m writing this because I don’t want my last entry for 2016 to be all about me bitching and moaning. ::chuckles:: For some reason I have way too much pride for that to be my last entry.

So, even with the kick in the teeth that 2016 was at times....
It’s decided to be kind to me, here on its last day.

I found out today, that I have made it another year Cancer Free. ::huge sigh of relief::

No cancer. No HPV evident.
Hard to believe that 8 years ago, that wasn’t the case.

Onwards!

Tailspin/TailSPEND

Only makes sense that I’ve gone into a damn tailspin (or is it a tail SPEND???) here.
My spending has been out of the control.
Like no. Seriously. OUT. OF. FUCKING. CONTROL.

I spent $53 on Candy Crush level boosts because it was just $1.07 a pop. I have an addiction to the damn game.

I’ve put $400 on my credit card this month alone. And one of my goals was not to use my credit card ONCE until my birthday in NOVEMBER 2017.

Like what the ever loving FUCK, Wolfie????

I wish I could say it was for a good cause. Like I’m donating money to charity. Or purchasing items from a charity that does good things in the world. But that would be a big fat lie. I’m just spending to be spending and it’s money I don’t even fucking HAVE.
But it’s been a good wake up call to me. Time to tamp that shit down tight.

So little goals to do for January:
- remove my credit card from my PayPal account
- DON’T SPEND ANYMORE ON FUCKING CANDY CRUSH FOR GOD’S SAKE
- call my credit card and see about getting a lower interest rate (haven’t missed a payment in years now, so this should be fairly easy to do)
- talk to my bank about a loan (if their interest rate is lower than the CC, how much of a loan, for how long, what will the monthly payments be, etc)
- take the bank info and mull over it for at least 48 hours (talk it over with my mom)
- I’m also instituting the 48 hour rule for any non-necessary purchases

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful…

1.       For a botched Tabula Rasa ritual and all the wisdom I’ve crystalized from the whole thing.  Sucks that a traditional ritual of mine, that I’ve been looking forward to all year, blew up in my face, but the lessons learned are pure gold.

2.       Last Thursday of 2016.  Honestly, 2016 hasn’t been too damn brutal on me personally, but I do like the shiny new hope a new year gives you.

3.       On that subject, I am grateful for all the things I have learned over this past year.  They weren’t all enjoyable things to learn, but I am grateful that I came out on the other side with the hard won wisdom they encapsulated.

4.       Enjoying my Winter Break.  I feel so much calmer inside.  Not quite so beat up, dirty, and dinged. 

5.       My family – husband (David), pit bull (Josey), and Leviathan (snake) – as well as my mom, my brother, sister-in-law, and my little niece and nephew. 

6.       The way my room smells so amazing after a ritual (whether or not the ritual was a success) and that the smell always brings a smile to my face when I walk into the room.  Lingering incense aroma is one of the best smells in the world.

7.       The amazing Sekhmet Anointing Oil I purchased from the Sekhmet Temple in Nevada.  The priestess there crafted this anointing oil and blessed in the Temple under November’s Super Full Moon.  My oil arrived today and it smells so damn good.  I can’t wait to use it.

8.       Getting back into the habit of using the elliptical.  Hopefully I will make the habit stick this time around. 

9.       Fountain pens and inks to play with and the fact that Mary keeps sending me awesome ones to enjoy! 

10.   Four amazing, blissful days that our neighbors were gone.  No irritating barking dogs.  No blinding light that hits your eyes the second you step out the front door.  It was AMAZING.

Tabula Rasa: Part II

Ok, I’ve had a bit of time to process and make a new plan of attack for next year’s Tabula Rasa ritual, so hopefully it won’t suck so much.

Archangel Azrael popped up for a bit while I was moping around about how anticlimactic the whole thing was. His pearl of wisdom: “Better to try and muck it up, than to sit on your hands and WISH you had done it.”

And honestly, that sums up my word and game plan for 2017 (which will get its own entry in due time).

So photos from the botched Tabula Rasa ritual earlier today:

Altar:


This altar was all about my wants and tastes and desires, as the Tabula Rasa ritual is all about me.

Going left to right:
Purple altar cloth
Sekhmet with her Red and Orange seven-day candles (She was not front and center as usual, because this ritual focused on me).
Jam jar with rain water (element Water)
Athame (black-handled ritual blade)
Red silk pouch – houses my Gilded Tarot deck
Acorn (element Earth)
Notebook paper – what I wrote my year review notes on (I have since typed it up and will print it out to put in my Grimoire binder)
Purple journal (for ritual notes/ideas/scribbles)
Typed sheets of paper – my 101 Goals in 1001 Days list that begins on January 1st.
Red candle – symbol of me (also element Fire)
Incense burner with eagle feather and Scorpio incense – my astrological sign (and element Air).

Tarot Spread:


I’ve got the notes typed up for this as well. It will also be printed out and I’ll scribble my own thoughts all over it. This will also go into the Grimoire binder with the ritual write up.

And my traditional post-ritual Selfie:


Not my best photo. The light is harsh because I did this ritual much earlier in the day than I normally would. And man, I just look puffy in the face – thanks allergies for that bullshit.

Tabula Rasa Ritual

Damn, the Tabula Rasa ritual ended up being one hell of a letdown.

I did the hard leg work a few days back, of reviewing the past year’s highlights and low spots. Going through calendars, journals, Facebook, planners, blogs, etc. for an entire year took more than a minute! ::laughs:: But I got that done.

And I realized that while everyone is complaining about 2016 being such a shit-tastic year, honestly? For me, it was a pretty good one. Granted my depression was more at the forefront than in previous years (or maybe, I was just taking more note of it this year?) and we did have to put Holly (Ole Lady Dog) down, but all in all, 2016 was a fairly good year for me.

The ritual itself was rather anticlimactic after all the work I put into it.

But it’s done now.

I just need to work up the Tarot reading I did and I’m done until next year.

What I did RIGHT:
- The leg work
- Decorating the altar for me
- Incense selection (Scorpio)
- Ritual cleansing shower (nice conditioner, scented body scrub/wash)
- My necklace (Lil Sorceress)
- The skirt – seriously loving it!

What I will do BETTER next time:
- Practice and streamline my personal Circle Casting
- Ritual should be at night or at least the evening. Sun needs to be down. I work better that way.
- Read over the Tabula Rasa write up in Sage Woman a MONTH before and start preparing a MONTH before the day I want to do my ritual
- Put more planning down on paper and FOLLOW THROUGH
- Flowers!
- Overall, just put MORE effort into it. I put all the effort into the year review and the upcoming 101 Goals in 1001 Days prep than into the Tabula Rasa ritual itself.

To Do NOW:
- Write up the Tarot Reading and see what’s in store
- Finish off the Tabula Rasa ritual with the Moon Boon (write a wish down for the upcoming year and burn it)
- Locate and print out a ritual design cheat sheet and put it to work
- Purchase a copy of Women’s Rites, Women’s Mysteries and re-read it

Blessed Yule

Life has been more than a little crazy here recently, so my Yule ritual was pushed until the 23rd (Winter Solstice was on the 21st). But better to wait than to do it half-cocked.

I was planning to wear my red flame ritual robe, but I’ve misplaced the belt I use to keep the robe closed. So that was nixed until I can either find the belt or replace it.

But damn, I felt good with my recent adoption of the tank top and skirt (which, anyone who knows me, knows how shocking that is. I’m NOT a skirt fan).


Moving on to the Yule ritual itself....
Altar with the lights on:


Going left to right:
Wand
Four red candles in the clear glass holders.
Galaxy Coyote Skull
Red Sekhmet candle
Golden Sekhmet statue
A branch cut from the tree in my front yard that has these awesome red berries.
Orange Sekhmet candle
Yule candle by Mystic Realm.
You can’t see it, but there is a necklace I’m blessing for a friend.
Galaxite stone
Sacred feathers
Incense burner with “Cinnamon Stick” incense by Oakheart Creations.

Yule Altar with the lights off:


I also did a Winter Solstice Tarot reading for myself using this spread.

Post ritual selfie 01:


Post ritual selfie 02:


Blessed Yule!

Hazel & Azrael

Hazel Nut seems to have disappeared once again.  she’s even deactivated her FaceBook page, so the home phone, which she doesn’t answer is the only way I can contact her.  I’ve left her a voicemail, but haven’t heard back from her.  ::shrugs::  And honestly, I’m questioning why I’m fighting so hard for this friendship.  I’m putting forth all the effort here.

I am grateful that she helped reignite my spiritual side.  I had let so much of my spiritual practice fall to the wayside because I became so lazy with it.  But she motivated me to dust my altar off and get back into the swing of things.  Hazel also introduced me to the Pagan Community on YouTube.  And while it is filled with a shit ton of drama, which is why I don’t have videos of myself up, there is a lot of good information there.  Not to mention, I ADORE seeing other Pagans’ Books of Shadows and/or Grimoires.

And I think that’s the reason the Angel Azrael showed up in my dreams a few weeks back.  Azrael is the herald of spiritual changes and transitions.  I will be making a seven-day candle for Azrael to honor the changes I’m making in my spiritual life.  I’m hoping that by embracing the changes, I will flow with them better (and not fight them so much), and thus the changes won’t be quite so earth-shattering when they occur.