Pets with Santa (Photos)

I'm a bit bummed about how the photos with Santa turned out this year.  They used a crap camera and then had them printed at Walmart, so the quality is less than usual.  *sighs*

I guess next year, I'll just take my own camera and take the photos myself.  I'll still pay the $5 or whatever per photo that they charge, but I'll do the rest myself.  It's the only way I know to ensure we have decent photos.

This is our 3rd year taking the pets to get photos with Santa. 

Leviathan is such a good model.  *smiles* 


David, Holly, and Santa:

Update

It's been ages since I've written.  I had to go back and re-read my last entry just to see where everything was standing that last time I wrote (which was on Dec 5th).

I got the job at Starbucks.  I'm doing the training now.  I'm trying not to let it overwhelm me...there is just so much information to log into this brain of mine.  It's definitely out of my comfort zone, and I'm struggling a bit with that.  I'm used to being top dog (as I've done child care for AGES), so I'm really having to humble myself (which needed to be done, let's be honest there), and really stretch myself to learn everything this new job and role entails.  But, I really like the people I work with.  They seem to be very genuine and friendly, so that's always a plus.

Did photos of Leviathan and Holly with Santa.  Thank god we had the horrid ice storm the first weekend of December (we got iced in for 4 days), so they rescheduled the Santa photos for this weekend.  If they hadn't, we totally would have missed out on it this year. 

This December has just flown by.  I guess losing 4 days to the ice storm just really threw everything off.  It's hard to believe that today is Yule and that Christmas is in 4 days.  Just two weeks left in this YEAR.  Craziness.

I'm still not on medication for my bipolar depression and I'm still doing GREAT.  I'm worlds better than when I was on it.  I was worried that starting the new job in which I'm a total newbie would throw me into some serious anxiety/panic attacks, but honestly, other than just wanting to hide out the night before I go, they haven't really even existed.  When I was on the medication, I'd have all sorts of anxiety attacks, so I think this is for the best (at the moment.  I reserve the right to revisit this should I get bad again).

I need to catch up on my 365 Photo Challenge and the Project Life.  I don't think I'll be doing Project Life again.  David and I just aren't that interesting, and it's hard to come up with stuff for each week.  *chuckles*  We stay home most of the time and watch various TV shows (we're currently watching Breaking Bad) and movies. 

I made the decision to leave my Coven.  I'm just not getting anything from the rituals that I don't get when I do my own.  Most of the time, I enjoy my own solitary rituals more than the small Coven ones.  *shrugs*  I've looked into joining a different Coven, but there just aren't any in the area that speak to me. 

Predator Self

Blame it on Dexter or on me still riding un-medicated.

But my predator self is back. 
The one that moves with liquid grace. 
The one that oozes utter confidence that can only come from knowing exactly where and how hard to strike down one's foe.

Blame it on the on-coming cold weather.  It always brings out my inner She Wolf.
Blame it on me finally standing up to my morning boss and walking out on that job that just robbed me of the joys of life.  Of working with kids.
I'm just not cut out to work with children under the age of 7, I've come to realize.

Got the job at Starbucks, pending me clearing a criminal background check (which I will...with flying colors).

But for now....I'm comfortable in this skin of mine.
I'm coming to various realizations about myself and the way I tick.

I've realized that while the impulse to cut will probably always be with me, the actual need to do it is long gone.
It's much akin to the other random desires towards violence that I have on a daily basis.  The desire to slash someone's tires.  To punch certain people in the throat.  Various desires that, while are fun to visualize, I just really don't see myself ever acting on.  *shrugs*  This is me.  And I kind of like me.

I feel like all this time I've been running away from my Core.  Trying to play nice.  Trying to shed the pelt and the fangs and the claws. 
Being a Wolf isn't being evil. 
Being a Wolf is just different.  Just me.
The way I use this fur and fang...that decides if I'm evil or not.  And for now.....I'm not.

And that circles back to being a predator, sure of herself, of what she is capable of doing...and deciding what to do.
For instance, today in my exit interview from Kids R Kids, it would have been all too easy to go off on my now-ex-boss.  To tell her exactly what I think of her, her management style, and her whole damn school.  But I chose not to go for the kill.  Why bother?  I'm liberated from that hell hole, so why spend any more time there than I absolutely have to.  It was a joy to quit.  *chuckles*

And now, I enjoy my late nights and later mornings.  I only have one job to contend with at the moment and I'm enjoying the freedom while it lasts.  Starbucks will tame me down once more.  But until then, I run free.

32 Goals for my 32nd Year

32 Goals for my 32nd Year

1. weigh 175 lbs or less
2. take at least one creative class at Michael's
3. decide if I'm staying with the Coven or looking for a new one
4. pay off Firestone credit card completely
5. complete 5 pages in Leviathan's scrapbook
6. see David's parents
7. return trip to Wolf Park
8. something nice for my 8th SI free anniversary
9. fire a gun of some sort
10. pumpkin, watermelon, and birthday parties for the wolves at Wolf Park
11. take Holly and Leviathan to visit Santa
12. Art Every Day Challenge
13. declutter room
14. lavender in my hair (streaks, tips, whatever)
15. Vision Quest
16. 1 postcard a month (minimum) through Postcrossing
17. print out blog
18. pay off Care One Credit completely
19. write rituals for all 8 Sabbats
20. write a standard Esbat ritual
21. donate $50 to a sanctuary
22. get a massage
23. 6 new recipes
24. Tabula Rasa ritual
25. write a new set of 101 Goals in 1001 Days
26. feed a Gaboon viper
27. write and use invocations to Cernunnos
28. get a Cernunnos statue for my altar
29. complete Project Life and decide if I want to do it again
30. 6 craft projects from Pinterest
31. visit a zoo/sanctuary 12 times
32. do something nice for my 33rd birthday

31 Goals for my 31st Year Final End

Every year I make a list of goals for myself to accomplish in that year (I don't do New Year's Resolutions).

Here's the 31 Goals for my 31st Year final end.

31 Goals for my 31st Year

1. weigh 175 lbs or less

            * start weight is 215

            * end weight is 189

2. make a career decision and go for it

            * finishing up Alternative Teaching Certificate

                        * classes completed 12/28/12 

                        * now just studying for the test

                        * passed Generalist 4 - 8 test (7/6/13)

3. Photo Safari at Fossil Rim for my 7th year SI free -- didn't do
4. take a sketching/drawing/paint class
5. do well in the Coursera classes I've enrolled in

      *I've opted to put the Coursera classes on hold until I get the teaching test

                  completed.

6. get a tattoo
7. return visit to Wolf Park
8. return visit to the Houston Zoo
9. Project Life for 2013 -- still working on this
10. make a wish at 12:12 on December 12th, 2012

            * done!

11. photos in the bluebonnets
12. 12 new recipes

            1. Red Velvet Cake Dip = 11/17/12

            2. Cheesy Ranch Chicken = 12/17/12

            3. Mashed Baked Potatoes = 1/12/13

            4. Shoyu Tamago (soy sauce eggs) = 4/28/13

            5. Lofat Alfredo Sauce = 6/15/13

13. make the beaded wrap/case for my athame

            * lost that athame, got a new one, don't need the case

14. send in a secret to Post Secret
15. go to 3 DFW Herpetological Society meetings
16. go to the big reptile expo in February  -- didn't do
17. take a photography class/course
18. make 6 of the crafts I've found on Pinterest

            1. Alternative Xmas Tree

            2. Christmas Card album

            3. Tipped Nail Polish

            4. Cardboard House (for my students)

            5. Grid Painting (art journal)

            6. Tea Staining Paper (art journal)

19. deep clean my art territory
20. get nice photos done of David and I
21. do something nice for David's birthday

            Batman cookies and Joe's Crab Shack

22. 365 Photo Challenge -- still working on this
23. good photos of Leviathan every month

            Nov = Xmas photos for Xmas card

            Dec =  New Year photos with antlers

            Jan = didn't do

            Feb = Leviathan & Antlers

            stopped at this point

24. enter 3 photography contests
25. find my Sir Bob the Chicken Knight Story and work on getting it published
26. have my fortune read
27. visit the Japanese Botanical Gardens in the Spring (didn't do) and Fall nope
28. pay down the Firestone credit card to zero by my 32nd birthday
29. start a savings account

            11/10/13 = $420

30. treat myself to the Zoo, lilies, and a nice dinner for my 32nd birthday
31. visit the Ultimate Reptile Shop in Hockley and feed their Gaboon Viper.

I (a poem)

I am not the Salmon
swimming with the masses
packed gill to gill in the
frigid Alaskan rivers
battling to be like everyone else
struggling to do nothing more
than to spawn and die

I am more like the Great White Shark
cruising the depths
and breadth
of the shadowy, watery ways
of the oceans of the world
elusive, enigmatic
a true mystery to all
but a few

I am a Gypsy
hunted and persecuted
yet wild, untamed
FREE to be
who I am at my deepest core
traveler and lover of the
gifts this world possesses

This is I

Lurking

I'm alive.  I'm here. I'm just in full on lurk mode.

Call it depression.  Call it "my give a shit is broken".  Call it an early mid-life crisis.  Whatever. 
I come here to write and then bolt away instead.
My time is absorbed by Uno on Facebook.  What a lovely distraction.

I'm struggling with the Art Every Day Challenge for this month.  I'm doing nature based Mandalas again (yeah, for like the 4 billionth time).  I've got some really difficult critters this time around for patterns.  But I kind of relish that challenge.  I worked on a few while waiting to David to pick up some tile at Home Depot.  I am still woefully behind, but at least I'm making progress.

Apparently me speaking up at the morning has led to my hours being cut.  Now, to be fair, the boss did warn the whole group that she's cutting hours across the board and that the student-to-teacher ratio will lead to them sending un-necessary teachers home, but I was already bracing for my hours to be cut.  But for me to go from 20 hours a week to being ONE of the on-call subs?  That's rough.  I'm thinking of applying at Starbucks.  Could be fun.

Turned 32 back on the 10th.  A nice, quiet birthday with my mom and husband.  I think I'm still in shock at being that old.  And I'm comparing myself to others, which is always a recipe for disaster.

I'm way behind on my 365 Photo Challenge too.  Hopefully I can spend this week getting that caught up, along with my Art Every Day Challenge.  Next year, I'm definitely NOT doing the 365 Photo Challenge.  I'll be so glad when that's all over.  Just 44 more days of that and then I'm DONE.

Read World War Z.  Was greatly under impressed.  The movie was so much better.  I mean, the concept behind the book was great.  But after the first 50 or so survivor stories, it got to be a bit boring.  Wow, ANOTHER person survived.  I mean, my hat's off to the author to come up with so many individual scenarios on surviving the zombie apocalypse, but damn it got old real quick.  But then again, I'm not a huge zombie fan, so I didn't have that going for me.  *shrugs*  Definitely worth reading once, but not one I ever see myself picking up ever again.

Went to the Fox and Hound in Carrollton with Lisa and crew to watch UFC 167.  This was the 20th anniversary of UFC AND Georges St. Pierre was defending his title (he's my all time favorite).  We almost ended up not going, but I'm glad in the end, I talked David into.  This might be St. Pierre's last fight.  He's taking a few years off for personal reasons, but you never know if they are truly retiring or not.  I'll certainly be sad to see him go.  I'll have to pick a new runner up to favorite fighter. 

Thankful Saturday

I am thankful.....

1. for a quiet, low-key Samhain
2. my Sekhmet painting arrived yesterday and it's AWESOME!
3. my birthday is fast approaching
4. former ESD student brought me Dots from his Halloween trick-or-treating
5. all the side effects have gone away since I've been off of Geodon
6. bracelets two of my ESD students made for me
7. roasted pumpkin seeds from Allie
8. payday yesterday from BOTH jobs
9. survived the two days of being on my own in the morning job
10. postcard from Russia via Postcrossing

Samhain

Blessed Samhain.  A day to honor one's ancestors, but known and unknown (those that came before my time).  A day to honor the Beloved Dead -- and not just human.  I honor beloved pets that have passed on.

This year, Halloween day was packed to the gills with work requirements and my depression has a strong hold on me mentally.  I opted to keep my Samhain observances low-key.  I simply lit a white pomegranate-scented candle I bought specifically for Samhain and acknowledged my Dead, and wished them safe travels.  At this time of the year the Veil between the Living and the Dead is the thinnest and the Dead are able to travel here and visit the Living.

I lit the candle again today and will light it tomorrow as well.

I opted not to do any divination (another custom for Samhain) as I'll be doing a year-reading for myself soon in my Tabula Rasa ritual.
Just a nice quiet observance and honoring of the Dead. 

written Nov 1st

Go From Here

Depression is setting in.

The desire to cut is getting stronger.  Was tempted to sneak off into my office and just put a mark on my arm and blame it on being off my medication.

But it's a good thing I'm off my medication.  The arm twitches are completely gone.  The nausea is almost completely gone.  It's just fleeting now, minor little blips instead of crippling daily attacks.

So I guess it will be back to the drawing board on medication for my bipolar depression.  At least this has proved the oily voice wrong...the medicine is working and it's so nice not to battle depression over the most mundane things.

Like today's been a pretty good day all around.  We had our visit from Corporate today, but they were kind enough to skip over my classroom completely.  Nice because the lead teacher for the day, Morgan, is out (her father recently died) AND the person who was supposed to be helping me out didn't show up.  So it was just me in the classroom.  Bored as hell, but at least Corporate wasn't there, breathing down my neck.  So that's something to be happy about.  Granted, I might get my visit tomorrow, but that's ok.  The  other lead teacher, Holly, will be back and running the classroom.  I did an ok job, but I doubt Corporate would have been overly pleased.  But I'm not going to bust my ass.  I'm NOT the lead teacher and I'm not getting paid to be a lead teacher, so I won't be going all out for it.  *shrugs*  That's just how it's going down right now.  My give-a-shit is broken and I could care less (hurray for the depression flare up).

But it will get better.  It's not that bad just yet, and I'll be calling my psychiatrist soon to see where we go from here.

Off My Meds

I've been 100% off my meds since Tuesday.
But it's at my doctor's behest, so I'm not being naughty.

And if I stay on Geodon, I'll never skip a pill ever again.  I've felt like death warmed over the past 3 days.  And am just now back to eating a fourth of a meal I'm used to.  Fuzzy brained, with a 3 second delay (or more), nausea like you wouldn't believe, vertigo, headaches, chills, and hot flashes.  Felt like pregnancy and menopause all rolled into one. 

The whole reason we're doing this dance is that I've been nauseous for over a month now and have started having muscle twitches in my right arm, peeing all the damn time, dry mouth like a bitch, etc, etc, etc.  All side effects from Geodon (or at least that's what we're trying to prove at this point).

So far the muscle twitches are gone.  And I'm not peeing every 15 to 20 minutes.  The nausea is fading as the drug is coming out of my system. 

But Geodon works soooooo well with my bipolar depression that I don't want to give it up so easily.  I'd rather just do a lower dosage.  We doubled my dosage from 40 mgs to 80 mgs (which my general doctor was shocked I was on so high of a dosage and that we didn't step me up to that level, just dived right in) back on Sept 27th.  Maybe 50 or 60 mgs would be good enough to keep the bipolar in check (I was borderline manic on just 40), without all the side effects.

I was all excited to go off my meds, thinking I'd spend my time in mania and just have fun.  So far that hasn't happened (though I could be in my normal state, not manic, not depressed).  And then I got to thinking, that it's possible I could slide into depression just as easily as I could go into mania and I'm happy I'm staying in the middle of the road right now.

Though the oily voice is back and saying this just proves I don't need the medicine.  I'm sleeping better (more -- better than the insomnia I was having).  But the oily voice is back and that proves the medicine was working.  I'm not a fan of the oily voice.  That's the one that also urges for self-inflicted harm (which hasn't been more than an annoying thought since I've been off the Geodon, and I'm VERY thankful for that).

I need to call my psychiatrist at some point next week and see when this little experiment is supposed to end.  His nurse didn't set an end date.  I'm just keeping an eye on the physical symptoms at the moment and an eye on the mental stability and hoping for the best. 

Thankful Tuesday (because I forgot to do it Thurs)

Sekhmet, by Kimberly Sneed

I am thankful......

1. that my Sekhmet painting is done.  It just has to dry and then Kimberly is shipping it to me.
2. good Dedication Ritual for the Full Blood Moon I did on Saturday
3. not diabetic (got tested yesterday).
4. delicious Chick-fil-a.
5. watching 24 with David
6. Mr. Robinson asking why I was absent from work yesterday (I was ill and at the doctor's office)
7. feeling better today
8. down 20 pounds since August 19th (when I started working at Kids R Kids).
9. that I have no kids of my own
10. good friends

Photos 272 - 293

Photo 272:

Currently re-reading.

Photo 273: 

Potty Ghost at work.
Done with September.  Just 3 months left in the challenge.

Photo 274:

Pretty white and purple lilies at Tom Thumb.

Photo 275:

Reflecting Leviathan.

Photo 276:

Red and Orange lilies at Tom Thumb.

Photo 277:

Adorable toy dinosaur one of my students had.  Seriously wanted to steal it.

Photo 278:

Another type of lily that Tom Thumb had.  These I bought for myself.  Hopefully I don't kill them!

Photo 279:

Halloween Witch crunch bar.

Photo 280:

Postcard from LA via Postcrossing.  Reminds me of a cat I once had.

Photo 281:

Limo three of my 4th grade students made for the Cardboard Challenge.

Photo 282:

found my crown!

Photo 283:

She picks the weirdest places for a nap.

Photo 284:

Sammy, the Robinsons' dog.

Photo 285:

She really likes sleeping on herself.

Photo 286:

Took a break from the Women's Rites book to read this one. 

Photo 287:

Batman jack-o-lantern I carved.

Photo 288:

One of the main reasons I like carving pumpkins.....roasted pumpkin seeds!

Photo 289:

What I paid for gas thanks to Tom Thumb reward points.

Photo 290:

Leviathan resting her head on her water dish.

Photo 291:

Project Ostrich and Seahorse -- two postcards I had the students sign to send to Natalie (former coworker).

Photo 292:

Blood Moon ritual (it's the name of the full moon in October.  No blood letting occurred). 

Photo 293:

David testing out Holly's new kennel (we have to kennel her for the annual fire department inspection that will occur next week).

Full Moon Plans

Art via Pinterest

A scary thought entered my head a little while ago.

What if I wasn't dedicated to Sekhmet?

It's amazing how much of my Pagan identy is tied up in being a devotee to the Lioness of the Desert.  And it's amazing the sense of loss, and betrayal, that simple question ignited in me.  I know I am on the right Path for me, but I've allowed myself to become incredibly lazy with my devotion, with my Walk on this Path.  He'll, I've become incredibly lazy in all aspects of my life.

But what better time to turn over a new leaf than now.  I need to formally introduce myself to Cernunnos through ritual, so why not re-dedicate myself to my Lady of the Flame while I'm at it? 

That will be the focus of my Full Moon Ritual on or around the 18th of this month.

So I need to write up that ritual to formally dedicate myself to Cernunnos and to re-dedicate myself to Sekhmet.  And I need to write a simple devotion to The both that I can do daily to strengthen my connection to Them.

Thankful Friday

Art: No-one Can See Me

I am thankful....

1. babysitting for the Robinsons again.  Great kids, which makes the whole thing a breeze.
2. re-reading Heart of the Sun -- it's stirring my devotion to Sekhmet once more.
3. no ESD today or Monday.  Woohoo for a much needed break.
4. that I was able to leave Kids R Kids early because I was feeling ill this morning.
5. that the illness this morning passed after a few more hours of sleep.
6. clean sheets on my bed.
7. my husband, even when he's being a total stinker-face.
8. my grab-bag of 100 assorted postcards arrived on Thursday and I have a few addressed to friends and one for Postcrossing.
9. writing my own rituals once again.
10. my lily plants.  I hope I can keep them alive and well to bloom again.

Restless and Postcards

I'm bored.
I'm restless.
I ordered 100 postcards.

No really.  I did.  It was a grab-bag of an assortment of postcards for under $20 (and that's WITH shipping).  Not to shabby.  That should keep me quite happy in the Postcrossing world for quite some time.  Can't wait for them to arrive so I can start mailing them out!

The weather has been crazy here.
Friday, it was in the upper 80s.
Saturday, I think we might have hit 50 degrees.
Today has been in the 70s. 
Autumn is trying to gain a foothold.  But Summer isn't conceding defeat just yet.  We'll be back into the 80s tomorrow.

I'm currently down 16 pounds since I started working the morning job 6 weeks ago.  I'm thrilled.  First time in over a year I'm under 200 pounds.  Hope this keeps right on going and I get back down to my lean weight.  I'd be so happy.  Just another reason to keep the morning job. 

Speaking of the morning job, it's changing on me.  Tomorrow we split our class up and I get a new lead teacher.  Seems the two main problem children are going to the other classroom.  But I'm also loosing Gabriel, who was my little screamer when he first started, but has really grown on me.  Gonna miss that blue-eyed, blonde-haired kid.  But hopefully this means that the morning job will mellow out a bit and I won't be so loathe to show up.  Hopefully this will also end the TMJ and I won't have to get the mouth guard (to the lovely tune of $235).  I'm not holding my breath....but I am hopeful.

I was hoping to buy some supplies for my 1st Degree Initiation artwork on this paycheck from the morning job, but it was a bit less than I usually get, as I missed a few days due to a stomach bug.  *sighs*  So, that's been pushed back until the next paycheck. 

No afternoon job Friday or next Monday.  I'm happy, but at the same time, that's two days I won't get paid for.  Still have the morning job on Friday.  And I'm pretty sure we'll be open Monday too.  It's just Columbus Day, which I flat out refuse to "celebrate".  A guy gets lost and opens the way for massive genocide and oppression.  What's there to celebrate?  But hey, if you want to give me the day off of work for it, I won't bitch about THAT.  *chuckles*  I'm babysitting Friday night, so I'll at least have that extra money to pad that paycheck with.

Denton County Police Force contacted me about their Rape Aggression Defense classes.  I'd expressed an interest in them, but then couldn't afford the classes (mostly the time off of work to attend the classes).  But they're already lining them up for the new year, and I'm thinking that with the morning job giving me an extra $350 every two weeks, I can afford to take the time off of the afternoon job to do the classes.  They meet once a week for four weeks, so it's only 4 days that I would have to leave the afternoon job a little early so I could get to Denton in time for the class.  And I think I'm going to register for the March classes, once they have them set, as I'll have Spring Break off of work, which will mean that I'll only have to leave early on 3 days. 

I think taking this classes will be a good step for me.  I'll have a bit more confidence in being able to defend myself.  I still plan to take Krav Maga classes, but it will be a bit before I can afford them.  Then I'll be a walking bad-ass.  *laughs*  At least, that's the plan.

Cardboard Challenge Explained

The Cardboard Challenge was a global day of play hosted by the Imagination Foundation. The basic idea was to allow children the freedom to be as creative as they wanted, as this creativity is what makes them great later on in life.  Give them cardboard boxes and let their imagination guide them however they see fit.  ESD joined over 1 million kids in over 70 countries in this Day of Play.

For more information, and the story behind the Cardboard Challenge go to http://www.cainesarcade.com/

My students created everything from a pinball game to a limo to castles to a UFO. 

Photos to be added soon.

Update on Sekhmet Painting

Kimberly was going through a rough patch and had to put my painting aside for a while. 
But she's since picked it back up and this is what she's got thus far:



The color is just perfect, as I was wanting it a blend between the tawny gold of a normal lioness and the snow white of a white lioness.  Beautiful. 

She'll fix the ears as they are too pointy and mellow out the eyes to a honey gold instead of yellow. 

And because she took such a long break on it, she's cutting the price down a bit. 
Though, honestly, I may still pay her the full amount because it's turning out so nicely. 

I can't wait to have the finished painting hanging above my altar.

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful....

1. that I write these lists, as I'm at least writing SOMETHING.  I'm terrible at writing currently.  Not sure why.
2. will be babysitting next week, so woohoo for good kids and extra money.
3. got the rough draft my goals for the next year (I set them on my birthday {in Nov}) started.
4. wrote out my Tabula Rasa (Latin for "clean slate") ritual written down and have done the year review up to the present completed.
5. the photos I ordered arrived yesterday.  In them, there are the nature photos I'll be making Mandalas off of for the Art Every Day Challenge in November.  I'm eager to start that.
6. the morning job is getting a bit easier, a bit more enjoyable.
7. Rune class this weekend with the Coven.  I'm happy to be getting back into the swing of things with them.
8. we ate at On the Border for our 4 year anniversary.  Great good and a great waiter.
9. today is the last day of the Cardboard Challenge.  I'll be writing about this more later, I promise (there's actually a TON of things I need to write about).
10. able to pay all my bills.  That's so satisfying.

Thankful Saturday

I am thankful.....

1. up-to-date with my 365 Photo Challenge (go back one entry to see them).
2. nice trip to the Zoo today (haven't been since January, which is insanely long for me).
3. picked up some of the necessary items for my craft project for my 1st Degree Initiation (I'm making a wood and bead pentacle).
4. the extra money the morning job brings in (even if I loath that job most days).
5. blessed rain we are currently getting.  Just love it.
6. MoonTime is over and done with.  I really let the faith part of it slide this time around, but will do better next go-around.
7. Mabon Ritual with the Coven last weekend.  It was so nice to be back with them again.  It totally made my heart happy.
8. Monday is my 4th wedding anniversary.  Four years married, six years together total.  My longest relationship ever. 
9. my psychiatrist wasn't too upset with me stopping the Depakote.  We're increasing my Geodon dose to see if that will balance out my mania.
10. Cheetos.  Seriously, best chip ever.  EVER.

Photos 257 - 271

Photo 257:

Dragonfly

Photo 258:

Offering bowl on my altar.

Photo 259:

Chocolate gifts from Scarlet and Smiggin, the two cats I was watching for Liz and Julie.

Photo 260:

Little "Hooka Home" David made.

Photo 261:

My sweet girl.

Photo 262:

Scarlet, one of the cats I was watching.

Photo 263:

Calendar I want for Christmas.  Took a photo of it so I'd remember!

Photo 264:

Lump in Leviathan's belly after her meal.

Photo 265:

Candle lit for healing for Annie.

Photo 266:

Stained glass art project at ESD.

Photo 267:

My bad-ass Rune bag.

Photo 268:

Pretty girl.

Photo 269:

Two students working on their Cardboard Challenge (will write more about this later).

Photo 270:

Another student working on her Cardboard Challenge.

Photo 271:

Belle, the female Asian elephant calf, at the Fort Worth Zoo.

Wondering

I'm wondering if I can get worker's comp to pay for my mouth guard that I need for the TMJ caused by my morning job?

Seems I'm clenching my jaw throughout the morning, plus grinding my teeth at night.
My teeth feel swollen.  It's the only way I can describe it.  Like they're bigger than usual.  And the right side of my jaw is so sore.  I even iced it down, trying to get some relief.  It feels like I've been punched there.  *shakes her head*

Had training last night for THREE fucking HOURS.
This is after working the morning job, then the afternoon job.  Insane.  And most of the crap didn't apply to me, or I already knew it.  The part that I needed to know could have been taken care of in half an hour.  Stupid.  Thank god it is all on the clock.  But seriously.  I didn't get home last night until 10 pm. 

And I was supposed to have a staff meeting tonight for the morning job, but I bowed out of that.  I'm exhausted and needed the break.  And if they have a problem with that, they can piss up a rope for all I care.

I think I'll take an Ambiem and go to bed early tonight.  I'm wearing myself thin.  Thank god tomorrow I leave the morning job 30 minutes early (have an ESD staff meeting) and I don't go in on Friday (have the appointment with my psychiatrist). 

We'll be adjusting my meds for sure.  I'm not going back on Depakote, as it was keeping me in a border-line depression the whole time.  But the Geodon alone right now isn't keeping my manic episodes in check.  I'm border-line manic for the past 3 weeks.  Don't get me wrong, I like the high-on-life feeling.  But the racing mind at night that doesn't let me sleep is no bueno.

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful....

1. for the $127 I got back from overpaying one of my credit cards.  Woohoo!
2. cat-sitting for Liz an d Julie.  I'd forgotten how much I like cats.  Too bad I'm allergic.
3. Red Robin last night with David and Allie for National Cheeseburger Day (it was Allie's first time at Red Robin).
4. opportunity for extra training at Kids R Kids (i.e. more money).
5. funny students at ESD.  They make my days awesome.
6. free hot lunches at Kids R Kids.  I don't eat enough there to make myself full, but it's a good start for whatever lunch I finish up at the apartment.
7. since I started working at Kids R Kids, I've lost 10 pounds.
8. Bailey's Irish cream and e-cigarette -- they keep my stress levels lower.
9. Full Moon tonight -- new goals set in place to be accomplished by the New Moon (Oct 5th).
10. money in the bank and money in the Polar Bear Trip Box (it's just $105, but it's a start).

written Sept 19th, 2013

Photos 244 - 256

Photo 244:

Leviathan out cruising her tank.

Photo 245:

Tongue flick!

Photo 246:

Post card from Siberia (via Postcrossing)

Photo 247:

Leviathan peeking out of her travel tank (she visited my students at ESD)

Photo 248:

Cookies from one of my aides

Photo 249:

Post card from North Carolina (via Postcrossing)

Photo 250:

My gorgeous girl.

Photo 251:

Cool fish stamp from Sigapore

Photo 252:

Morning job work shirt.

Photo 253:

One of my students goofing off.

Photo 254:

What I paid for gas at Tom Thumb (had Tom Thumb gas points to drop the price 20 cents)

Photo 255:

David and his Batman cookies.

Photo 256:

Post card from Belarus (via Postcrossing)