More Drama

Yay for another drama bomb going off in the Cauldron group.  Robert is a dick male in the group.  Hell if I know why he’s still in the damn group.  He’s one of those Special Men who act like they are being treated like second class citizens just because we don’t put them up on pedestals just because they are MALE.  He’s one of those Special Men who, when treated equally as everyone else, and thus no longer receiving all that special Male attention, shout out about being oppressed.  ::rolls her eyes:: 

So Tara, a lovely Canadian lady, does these videos on the Cauldron – usually something creative on the witchy side along with a giveaway of some sort.  Robert pops on saying something about wow he doesn’t have to even watch the video or something along those lines.  He’s since deleted the comment.  But me and Barb came in, defending Tara.  I really, really, REALLY do loathe Robert.  And I really, really, REALLY adore Tara.  It’s not the first time that Robert’s just been a complete dick hole, and I am utterly baffled why he’s allowed to stay.  ::shakes her head::

I got this week’s assignments all done – even though they aren’t due technically until tomorrow.  So hurray me!  Youth Lit class has some crazy specifications on how the weekly discussions go, but I really have to plan that one out – I have to post my Initial Discussion Post, plus comment on two other people’s postings, but NONE of those postings can occur within the same 24-hour period.  Like, wow.  I mean, I get it because she’s wanting there to be actual discussions, therefore you can’t do all of that on just one night…but still.  Wow.  I need to get cracking on the blog assignment as well.  ::sighs::  Hopefully, Monday, when I get back from my gyno appointment, I can sit down with my white board and all the syllabi and really map out what has to be done each week and by when.  I’ve got a vague idea, but I really need to make it more concrete or else I’m going to get my ass handed to me HARD this semester.  Hell, I may just take all the syllabi and a sketchbook with me to my mom’s house tomorrow and spend the evening doing that.  It isn’t looking good for me if I’m already struggling this much and we are only on week 3.  ::chuckles:: 

Drama & Doctors

written: January 26th

Yay, it’s Friday!

The drama at work is building.  I have a feeling Tuesday is going to bring it to a head, if it doesn’t explode before then.  ::sighs:: 

Turns out, Alexia hasn’t been taken her borderline personality disorder medication for the past week because she just didn’t feel like taking it.  I swear my jaw hit the ground when she said that.  You do NOT just not take your psychiatric medications on a whim.  There are so many repercussions…beyond just what your psychiatric disorder manifests.  Stopping psychiatric medications cold turkey leads to major withdrawal issues as well.  ::shakes her head::  So yeah, that explains so much of her recent instability. 

I’m so not looking forward to my doctor’s appointment on Monday – it’s with my gynecologist. 

TMI from here, you’ve been warned:

So I plan to talk to my gyno about my periods.  They suck.  Like, seriously SUCK, here recently.

I’m up to BLEEDING for 7 days….with another 3 days of like light spotting.

The first 48 hours, the cramps are horrible.  I eat painkillers like they’re candy.  And I have to change my “up to 8-hour leak protection” pads every three hours. 

After the first 48 hours, the cramping is gone and I have to change my pad every 4 hours.

And that’s when the clots show up.  For the next 5 days, clots of every size.  Most are small (smaller than a penny), but there quite a few that are large (large as a 50 cent piece or even bigger). 

It just sucks all around.  And the fact that it’s definitely gotten worse in the past 6 months?  Yeah, I’m done with fucking periods.

And I need to talk to her about the lil bumps I get on my outer labia and inner labia from time to time.  They are just these little bumps, almost like a pimple, but aren’t a pimple.  They are tender to the touch for a few days, but then go away completely.  So I don’t know what that’s about, hence why I need to talk to her about it and get the info on it.  It’s not life threatening or anything.  Just irritating from time to time.

And then Wednesday, I have my first appointment with the new shrink.  I’m not nervous about that yet.  I figure once I’m through the gyno stuff, THAT is when the anxiety will hit for the shrink appointment.  I’m thinking of telling her my medical history, but asking for a full evaluation to see if the original diagnosis (from 2000, by a psychiatrist-in-training) is accurate or not.  And we’ll take it from there. 

Thankful Thursday #04

written: January 25th

I am thankful…
1. I spotted a coyote on my drive home today. I love that city wildlife. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.
2. Did my assignments for BOTH classes this week! Yay me! ::chuckles::
3. Powerful dreams and new possible faith avenues.
4. Bottoming out again. I was thinking of cancelling my appointment with the new psychiatrist because I was doing so well. But this just reminded me that this is bad and this is serious and it’s time I did something proactive about my mental health.
5. I’m loving the Jade Oracle deck. It took me a while to feel healthy enough to use the deck (I get crazy readings if I’m not healthy), but I’m in love with it.
6. Making Wendy’s Witch’s Ball and mailing it out.
7. Picking up Girl Scout cookies AND getting to hanging out with Bri for about three hours, just shooting the shit.
8. Survived the early release day AND that it means extra money on my paycheck. I’m going to need it after this month.
9. Finally over the Plague of Doom. I am so deeply grateful for that. And I’ve since learned that, for whatever reason, I cannot take DayQuil. My lungs/bronchial tubes do NOT like it…but thankfully I can still take NyQuil.
10. Done with this list of thankfuls for this week.

Jade Oracle Deck

This is the 2nd daily spread I’ve done with the Jade Oracle cards, and I’m really liking this deck.



The best way I can describe this deck is like looking through fog or smoke in the beginning. The authors give a back story about the deity or important item that the card depicts before getting into the actual meaning of the card. So it’s all hazy until it snaps into focus.

Like, I’m reading through it, wondering how it pertains to me, like walking through fog. But once the meaning hits? The fog clears out completely and everything is crystal clear. Fun way to read the cards.

Now, the cards are a bit more “gruesome” as they are based off of Aztec symbolism and mythology. And we all have heard the stories of the ancient Aztecs. BUT, the meanings there are really well done. I can see this deck becoming a quick favorite of mine.

It’s like a good mix between Oracle and Tarot. Oracle decks tend to be hazier and kinder with their meanings, whereas Tarot calls you out on your bullshit nine different ways. This deck definitely brings that Tarot-like bitch-slap of truth…but you have to hunt around a bit more for it, like the Oracle decks.

Achievements & Plans

written: January 24th

Woot!  I got my discussion essay (500 word minimum) done for the Digital Citizenship class written AND posted – it’s due by midnight tonight.  Now, for that class, all I have to do is respond to two of my classmates’ postings (250 word minimum, each) and then I can get to cracking on next week’s assignment.

For Youth Lit, I need to do this week’s discussion question and respond to at least 2 classmates’ postings.  And I snagged some of the “required” reading books from the books I have at work.  I have to read a handful of those and do a book review blog post over them.  The plan is to do a whole bunch of those and write them all up NOW, and then just post them when they are due.  Wish me luck!  ::chuckles::

Next week will be crazy as well.  I have my yearly check-up on Monday.  Thankfully, I don’t think they are taking blood this time, so no fasting is required.  And then Wednesday, I have my first appointment with the new psychiatrist.  Honestly, I’ve been feeling really good since I finally made the appointment and was even toying with the idea of cancelling it, but this week, the depression is creeping back, along with the self-injury impulse.  So yeah, I’m keeping that appointment.  It’s not BAD yet, but I know it WILL get bad again, and I’m not suffering through that shit again with no life-vest. 

I know I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t buy any more gemstones until I properly documented the collection I already have….BUT…..

Sage Goddess was showing off these BEAUTIFUL rutilated citrine pieces. 

So I bought one.  ::sighs::  But it’s sooooooo pretty!  ::chuckles::  Seriously, it’s a gorgeous piece.  I’ll share photos whenever it arrives.  She’s currently down at the Tucson Gem Show, so I think those pieces won’t get shipped out until she gets back to California.  But seriously, GORGEOUS stone.  I’m trying so hard to be good.  ::laughs::