Dueling Chainsaws

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A nice note I found on the roll sheet from the last day before winter break.

Well my day started off super shitty. Someone in the neighborhood was having a tree removed…at fucking 8 am. Which is bad enough normally…but this morning I woke up with a migraine. So dueling chainsaws at 8 am with a raging migraine…yeah, unpleasant does not even begin to scratch the surface of what I was going through.

Yoga was a bitter disappointment today. Not even going to try to sugar coat that. But I learned a valuable lesson. Do NOT attempt to do yoga if you have just gotten a migraine to subside. The strain and movement made the migraine flair back up. I did not make it through the whole thing. But like Adriene stresses, I am striving towards PROGRESS, not Perfection.

I did finally sit down today and figured out the days and times that I can do my Practicum hours at the F. Library. I do not have to miss too many days of work (which will be nice on my paychecks). I have gone ahead and emailed my Practicum Supervisor at the Library to tell her the dates and times that work for me for January. All that is left is for Practicum Supervisor to approve them, and we can get this party started. As long as she approves all of my dates and times, I will be done with my Practicum hours by the end of March. That would be so nice.

Our new aide, Christina, started today and I really like her. She has worked the after school program before, at another campus, about 3 years ago. So she knows a lot of the basics already, which is really nice. Now I just need to bring her up to speed on things and I think she will do quite well. Honestly, I am even thinking of training her to be the 2nd in command for when Jess and I both leave…hopefully at the end of this semester. She was really keen to learn about the new electronic sign in/out we have for the students. But alas, our internet and phone went OUT right about the time she was asking about it, so I wasn’t able to show her anything. But hey, if she’s wanting to learn, I am more than willing to teach her and then let her take on that role.

My cinnamon sticks and cinnamon oil arrived today. Hopefully now I can get to work on making some protective charms for the house. I got the idea from the Inked Goddess Creations’ Witchy Advent they did this year. I am hoping to be able to snag one of those this year. This year, they are taking pre-orders, so I should be able to get one. Anyways, there was a simple little charm they had for one of the days that is to protect your house. So I bought the necessary items and will be making my own version of it. Hopefully I can get it made this weekend. That way I can bless and charge it each day leading up to the Full Wolf Moon. Perfect full moon for charms for protecting one’s pack and den. I am rather excited to do my first Witch crafting of the year with this charm.

Humbled

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Hazel gifted me a brand new yoga mat! I am beyond humbled in her generosity. I hung out with her today for a few hours and did her year ahead reading. I’m just happy to finally give her a positive reading! ::laughs:: All her previous readings were about major challenges and trials and upheavals. It was just nice to see all that work and trial by fire she’s been going through for the past two years or so is finally paying off. This year looks to be a very good, very positive year for her.

I was telling her about how much better I am doing. Honestly, Pristiq has been a true life-saver (it’s an anti-depressant). I’m actually able to do basic self-care so much more regularly now. Honestly, before Pristiq, it wasn’t shocking to me if I only brushed my teeth once a week or washed my face (besides what gets washed in the shower) once or twice a month. It was bad. But now? I’m not quite up to doing it every day, but I am so damn close to it. Like, I actually look forward to it. It’s such a drastic change for me.

Before Pristiq, I would have quit the yoga challenge before completing the first day, because sitting correctly makes my back ache. There’s no way I would have gone beyond that. But instead, I find myself relishing the challenge and looking forward to the progress I’m making. Is this how life is for “normal” people? Showering isn’t a chore? Brushing your teeth isn’t something you do once or twice a month? You actually don’t have a problem flossing and brushing your teeth AND washing and moisturizing your face EVERY night? Like my face looks so good just from regular cleaning and moisturizing. Like, I pause every time I catch my reflection in the mirror because I look so drastically different.

I’m also cutting back on my hot chocolate consumption. ::laughs:: I was drinking many cups of it every day. So now, I’ve limited myself to just one in the morning. After that, I have water, gatoraid, and then tea in the evening (a non-caffeine tea). We’ll see how well I stick to this once the school year starts up. I want to cut back the frappucinos. I definitely don’t want to be drinking one of those a day. One of my students gave me a Yeti cup with my initial monogrammed on it. I am thinking of brewing a hot tea in it before going to work, and have that to drink throughout my shift. Especially if I brew the non-caffeine tea, though I do have an energy tea that I could use on the days I feel like I’m dragging ass a bit. But yeah, I would like to cut that habit way down. Especially since I’ll be paying money towards the damn toll roads this semester, so I need to cut down my spending in other areas.

It’s strange not having periods anymore, but still going through the hormones. Like, I’m devouring everything in sight and just feel ravenously hungry all day long. It just hit me that this is probably PMS week for me. ::chuckles:: Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE not having to deal with a period any more…especially the complete shit-show my periods were. But it’s so weird to suddenly realize “oh, yeah, that thing I used to do must be cycling back around.” Explains why my dreams have been so vivid and weird and violent (but not in a scary way? Like me being a raging BAD ASS and killing all sorts of bad guys) the past two night. ::chuckles:: Rage on little ovaries. Rage on.

Otters

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A page I’m working on in my journal.
Otter is artwork I found online (a how to draw an otter, none-the-less) that I traced. ::laughs::

Chris L. (an in person buddy) posted a link on Facebook about SeaQuest Fort Worth having sessions to play with their otters. I audibly sucked in air the second I watched the video. For $20 you can go in with their Asian short-clawed otters and PLAY with them. Like sign me the fuck up! ::laughs:: And my husband LOVES otters, so of course we’re going. We’re signed up for March 14th. We had to make sure we could request the day off of work and we’re just gonna make the whole day like a date. ::smiles:: I am so incredibly excited about this.

Yoga today went so quickly. I had to modify a lot of the positions/stances today because I just can’t sustain that type of movement/position on my knees. For now. Seriously though, I want to get to the point where I CAN do all of these movements without modification. Maybe this is my Big Goal for 2019? I also took Josey on a walk afterward. This seems to be my new routine. Hopefully I can maintain it once I go back to work next week. After that, it will take some serious juggling and time management on my part once I start also working at the Library and my FINAL COURSES start.

I’m really going to have to cut back on my internet time once all of this kicks off. But I figured out that if I do 30 hours each month at the Library, I’ll finish up my Practicum requirement before the end of the semester. And 30 hours a MONTH isn’t major. Depending on how I’m feeling, I may do some extra hours over Spring Break just to get myself ahead, seeing as how I won’t be working the after school program (it’s closed whenever the public school is closed). Honestly, I should probably try to bang out as many hours as I can during January and February, as my Coven training will begin in mid-March and they meet twice a month (I think). So that’s another time requirement that I’m going to have going on as well. Busy, busy, busy. But after June, a lot of that will cease. I’ll do my End of Program exam and be done with my Master’s degree. The after school program will be done for the school year, and I’ll transition over to the Summer Tech Job unless I get a library job right off the bat. Either way, I’ll hopefully transition from have a job, a volunteer position, two classes, and Coven training, to just ONE job and Coven training. Damn, that sounds so friggin’ amazing. ::chuckles:: Just gotta keep my eye on the prize and get to trucking on this stuff.

I went ahead and ordered my ONE book required this semester. Woohoo! Hopefully I will get the used rental that I want, and only have to pay $33. That will be my absolute CHEAPEST semester book order EVER. I just seriously hope that the work load for this semester is light. Please, please, please let it be light. ::laughs::

Now all that is left is to get a damn Toll Tag. ::sighs:: I just hate the fact that I have to pay to use a road that my taxes paid to make! ::grumbles:: But it supposedly will cut 10 – 15 minutes each way off my commute to the Library, so I guess it will pay for itself by saving me gas and stress. I’m also keeping a print out of all the fees I pay because you bet your ass I’m claiming that as school expenses on my taxes!

Fabulous Friday

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Cletus, the local mockingbird, was out singing quietly today. I think he was just as happy as we were that the sun was shining and we were back up in the high 50s after two days of low 30s and constant rain. The yard is still squishy when you walk through it. ::shakes her head::

I got the MOST AMAZING surprise goody box today from Brandy (my Canadian twin, that sadly I was unable to go visit while she was down in Louisiana due to the aforementioned days of low 30s and CONSTANT rain):



I laughed out loud when I saw she had packed two of the Flying Cauldron drinks for me. She had posted on Facebook about trying them and I mentioned that they sounded good. Would have been better to try it out with her, but this is a close second. And the wolf chalice in the center? That’s a gift her mom picked out for me and then enclosed a lovely note about how she had hoped to give it to me in person, but that she hopes I love it all the same. And what’s extra awesome is that it has a wolf on all four sizes. And it’s the perfect size for my altar. I was looking at cups and whatnot today, as I want to start making daily offerings to my Ancestors, but nothing even remotely felt right. I guess it’s because THIS was on its way to me! ::smiles::

So Yoga today was INTENSE. Holy crap, I have like no strength based off of the moves Adriene was pulling off left and right, and I was struggling like hell with. But it’s just motivating me MORE to stick with it. because I WANT that strength. I WANT that body movement. I WANT that body confidence. So yeah, I can totally see myself keeping this up even after the 30-day challenge ends. If nothing else, I plan to redo this challenge a couple of times until I have the various poses and flows down fairly well.

Then because I felt so good and the weather was so nice (FINALLY), I decided to take Josey pup for a walk. She loved it and I enjoyed being outside, but I’m not sure my hips and knee agree that it was a good idea. I am pretty stiff this evening. And my bad knee was seriously aching earlier. I swear I sound like a friggin’ old lady. Oh my hips. Oh my knee! Oh well, onwards to progress!

Just sharing a cute photo of Josey laying down with me while I read a bit today:



I got in a nice shower, complete with some pampering body scrub. Then I did a nice charcoal peel off mask and actually painted my toenails. Then I tossed that nail polish because it’s complete shit. ::sighs::

I am making it a point to get rid of things that don’t make me happy any more or serve a purpose of some sort. I cleaned out my “nest” (thanks Fwing – my maternal grandmother – for that awesome name for the collection of stuff around your main chair) yesterday. I tossed four boxes of stuff to be recycled. I have a trash bag full of stuff to throw away. I found 5 journals and 7 spiral notebooks. ::shakes her head:: So yeah, I just need to do the rest of my belongings the same way. I’m sure I can get rid of a good third of the crap I’m holding onto for bullshit reasons…or simply because I forgot I had it.

I seriously need to do that with my wardrobe. And then I need to replenish it with stuff that actually fits me AND makes me feel good. Clothing like that DOES exist. I just need to get out there and find it and purchase it.

Honoring Ghosts

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Jimmy John’s BBQ chips. So damn delicious. ::chuckles::

Well the ice and sleet and snow we were promised never manifested. But damn, we have gotten a shit ton of rain. And it’s cold (at least in Texas terms, it’s cold). And Brandy is apparently getting some minor flooding in her area of Louisiana as well. Joked that if I had come down, we’d have to use a boat to get around. Still really sucks that I had to miss out on that trip.

The Journal Swap just got a bit bigger. One of the new journaling buddies asked if she could join in. I figured since our mail out date isn’t until next Friday, she would have plenty of time to get ready. So we’ve added Leida into the swap. It just adds another layer to the rounds, which means the swap will last longer. This one, teamed up with the fact that Sharmila lives overseas, which adds on another time delay, this swap may end up lasting all year. ::smiles:: I kind of like the idea of that. My journal will go from Texas, to Bahrain, to Indiana, to Pennsylvania, up to New York, and then back home.

I did day two of the yoga challenge. Still very much a challenge. But I like it. I relish the challenge. And typically Angie (another journaling buddy) posts about her completing that day’s challenge long before I get to it. It seriously motivates me to do it then. Because today, I was seriously dragging ass. I just wanted to head back to bed and sleep. But after Angie posted that she had finished today’s round, and with Josey not wanting to let me sleep in the chair, I opted to just go ahead and get it done. I was worried this session would make my shoulders even more tight (they’re tight from yesterday’s workout), but today’s workout really hit the legs hard. Those warrior poses are no joke! ::chuckles:: I am just happy the time durations for the next round of challenges aren’t going to be nearly as long as the first two days.

Wolf Park posted today that Wolfgang passed away back on December 28th. He’s one of the wolves I got to interact with on my first trip up to Wolf Park and it just breaks my heart that he’s gone. I’m sad that I wasn’t able to get back up there to see him again. that’s the sucky part of animals…they typically don’t live as long as humans, so we have to deal with their loss over and over throughout our lifetime. It’s one of the reasons I think I am so hesitant to go back to the Exotic Animal Sanctuary – almost all of the cats I knew and loved have passed on. It’s hard to go to places that I know are going to be haunted with the ghosts of those I’ve loved and lost. I don’t think I can handle seeing a new cat hanging out in Bruno’s old enclosure.

Bruno was a GORGEOUS Sumatra Tiger who absolutely adored me. He would trot over to the fence the second he saw me, chuffing out the friendly tiger greeting and sometimes a happy tiger groan/moan to just for me. I didn’t realize how much I missed him until I started writing this and found myself blinking back tears. I need to find my photos of him and do a page in my art journal in his honor. I think I’ll do the same for Wolfgang as well.

Rest in peace, Wolfgang.

Revving Up

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This is my photo for Week 1 of the 52 Week Photography Challenge. Why yes, yes I have signed up for ANOTHER challenge because clearly I am just made of free time. ::laughs::

Prompt for Week 1: Take a picture that tells us who you are, without actually showing your face.
There are so many layers to this photo that not even I consciously comprehend them all. ::chuckles:: Which is me, at my core.

So yeah, today was Day One of the Yoga Challenge. Holy crap, it kicked my butt. I am not a flexible person on the best of days. And these days, I am a bit heavier than I would like, which mucks up my knees more than I care to admit. Plus the cold weather does not help. ::chuckles:: BUT, regardless of all of that, I still did do 90% of the video. There were two poses that I just could not do in that moment (after everything else I had done up to the point). But honestly, at the end of the 50 minutes, I kind of wanted to do it again later on in the day, just to see if I could do them all. Did not do that, as I still have 29 more days to go. But this is something I could see myself going back through and doing again and again until I have the poses, the breathing, and the flow down better. I am tempted to keep a yoga journal specifically for this 30-day challenge, and just take a few minutes after each daily session to write about how I felt. Because, clearly I am not already doing more than enough stuff. Zero clue if I will actually do that or not.

I got in my “greens” today with a salad of baby spinach leaves. I GREATLY prefer baby spinach over standard lettuce. Which I need to remember that, because honestly, it is rather tasty. And I should be eating more of that than say, Cheetos. ::laughs:: And if I am seriously going to do the Vision Quest in August, then I need to clean up my eating before then. I need to start cutting out the caffeine NOW…because that is going to be a bitch kick. ::chuckles:: And then a few months out from the Quest, I will need to phase out all meat and dairy. It makes the fasting “easier” on your body.

Speaking of the Vision Quest, I do need to start setting aside the money for it. AND I need to start gathering up the items required for it as well. Remembering from my first one I will need to make a prayer staff, an altar cloth (there are specifics for it), and something for my Give Away at the end. Plus, I need to get my hands on a tent. Man, so much to do before then. Maybe I have taken on too much this year? But holy hell, what a year it will be when I accomplish it all!

Appeasing the New Year gods

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Starting the New Year off right. Started the morning off with the Cinnamon roll crescents recipe I tried out a while back.



Next up is the Black-eyed pea “Cajun Caviar”. Not pictured is the bacon I also cooked and ate, which takes care of the black-eyed peas and pork. I will eat the cornbread and greens tomorrow and the Southern New Year gods shall be appeased, and hopefully bless 2019. We also made sure to have a coin (gold dollar in this case) in each of our wallets for the New Year. It is a Hoodoo charm to ensure your wallet will always have money in it throughout the year. ::smiles::

Unfortunately, my road trip to Louisiana has been cancelled. Apparently Wednesday and Thursday, we are supposed to get sleet, ice, and possibly snow. Of course Texas would do that on the ONLY two days of my entire Winter Break that I had some traveling planned. ::sighs:: I am seriously bummed. Though, luckily, the Hubs set up last week so that he could work from home those two days. So at least I do not have to worry about him being out on the road with us crazy Texas drivers. And hopefully, he will not be as stressed out either. Because, let me tell you, Texas drivers believe that they can still do 70 miles per hour – ice or no ice. ::chuckles::

I have been wanting to try out Yoga for years now, but it just never worked out for me. A member posted a link in one of the FB groups – a YouTube channel is doing a 30-day yoga challenge. So I figured, what the hell? It is free. Plus, I have a whole week with no obligations so I can hopefully get into the routine of doing it and can keep it going through the rest of the month.

Besides, I am spending way too much time with my ass planted in this computer chair. My sciatica is acting up again. ::sighs:: So yeah, definitely need to incorporate more movement into my current routine.

Normally, this is where I would write about my Word of Focus for 2019 and my Totem for 2019. I have them sorted. I just have not quite crystalized my thoughts on both. So, I will get my thoughts sorted and then write about them both at a later date.

I am working in my journal, as I have a journal swap I am hosting. Figured it is a good way to start off the new year. ::smiles:: And it is all new faces for the swap – Dorene, Ali, and Sharmila. I have swapped personally with Sharmila before, but this is the first time she is getting to participate in a Round Robin. With her being overseas, it will draw out the swap due to mailing the journals to her, but hey, it gives us extra time to work in the journals. Plus, since I am the one mailing to Sharmila, it helps to space out the shipping costs. ::chuckles:: I am excited to get this swap started and to have new people working in my journal.