New Pagan Achievement Level

written: August 4

Photo 126/1001



Photo of the cover of my current BaBuJo (bastardize bullet journal). It’s gold, which is so out of character for me. I loathe gold. ::chuckles::

Even though NaJoWriMo officially ended on July 31st, I’m still keeping up with hand-writing journal entries in my composition notebook. Kind of helps with the down time on Thursdays and Fridays during deployment. But now that that is over, I’m curious to see how long I keep it going. ::chuckles::

I’m doing better after yesterday’s shocker. I hate that even after 13 years…it still hit me like a ton of bricks out of left field. It seems just when I think I’ve put it behind me, something comes along and shows me I haven’t. And I don’t know what to do about it. would therapy help? Because, what pisses me off the most is that the asshole got away with it. Sure the detectives interviewed him. But ultimately it was his word against mine. I just hope there’s some sort of note in his permanent record about the situation. Just in case he repeats himself, then there’s some sort of notation that he’s at least been accused of this previously. Not sure if it helps, but I tried to do my part.

I reached a new Pagan Achievement Level today. There was a group of Christians going door to door apparently to spread the “good word”. Husband told them, “no thank you” as they were walking up to our gate. I’m sure having a pit bull running up to the gate helped persuade them NOT to press their luck. But then they ended up congregating on the sidewalk in front of our house to have a prayer circle. First time I’ve ever had that occur. ::chuckles:: I would love nothing more than to find out where their home base is, and gather up a group of Pagan buddies and go have a “prayer circle” in front of their place.

Hermit

Photo 125/1001



I saw this posted in the teacher workroom at the campus I was working deployment at today. It lays it out quite simply what to do should we suspect child abuse/neglect. So I plan to print it out and hang it up in our office so at least MY staff knows what are obligations are in this regard. I certainly am not holding my breath that the Bosses will train us. It’s been 4 years since the last training we’ve received and I’ve been bringing it up at every review I’ve had (two a year). Honestly, I would like to make copies for all the campuses and pass them out, but I’m not sure I need to rock the boat that much. Maybe I’ll wait into a month in, and mail them out via Intercampus mail to all the campuses. I don’t have to slap my name on it, but I can still get the info out.

In other news, I am in a FUCKED up head space today. When I’m doing deployment (trading out old equipment for new equipment), I typically don’t even look at the people I’m helping and I only pay attention to the first name just to verify I have the correct person. The last name is what I go off of. And today, I had a person come through with HIS last name – the same last name as the man who drugged and raped me. My heart froze for a second before I could look up at the person standing in front of me. Thank god it wasn’t him. I have no idea how I would have reacted. I would have left for sure. There’s no way I could have stayed there. But it was horrible enough just to have his last name pop back up. It’s been, what? 12? 13 years, since that happened? And god, it just caught me out of left field.

So yeah….I’m going to hermit for a while.

Evening

Photo 124/1001:



My evening.

The weather was actually pleasant (after weeks and weeks and WEEKS of 110+ degree weather), so Josey-pup and I hung out on the patio for a while.

I’m reading Reunion of Ghosts. But I don’t know if I like it or not. I’m only in chapter 4, but I have not bonded in any way with any of the characters. And the story revolves around suicide, so it’s sort of put me in a weird head space this evening. I was thinking of taking it to work tomorrow to read in the down time, but I think I may instead take The Woman in the Shaman’s Body instead. Fuck the weird looks I may get for that book, but at least it doesn’t muck up my brain.

I am going to be really bummed if the bosses say I have to get rid of the blue/aqua blue/green color in my hair. It’s my one tiny rebellion and I really wish there was a good chance I could keep it. I’m tired of following the rules. I’m tired of squishing myself to fit the mold. I don’t do drugs. I don’t drink. Hell, I’ve even given up my one cigarette a day habit (I tend to do that for a few months in the summer time). Let me have my one little vice, please.

Blessed Lammas/Lughnasadh

written: August 01

Photo 123/1001



Blessed Lammas/Lughnasadh! I baked bread and made a copy-cat recipe of Johnny Carrino’s herbed olive oil dipping sauce for bread:



Not too shabby, given that both recipes were brand-spanking new for me. I will certainly be tweaking them for the next go ‘round, but all in all, pretty successful.

No altar for Lammas, as the baking of bread is the core of my observation for this sabbat that celebrates the First Harvest. Two more harvest sabbats will occur later on in the year. And I completely forgot to go grab some wheat from the field by 5 Guys Burgers. Maybe for Mabon (Autumn Equinox), I’ll swing by and grab some then.

Spent the morning at the after school program main office working on the class I’ll present at our Orientation. It’s over documentation in our program (Injury, Behavior, and Incident reports), to help staff know how to fill these out properly. I’ve given it the past 3 or 4 years now? Hell, I can’t remember. So I really didn’t a whole LOT to do…but still managed to stretch it out to cover the full four hours I could use for planning there at the office. ::smiles:: And then I had the afternoon all to myself. Hence the bread and oil sauce making. I also mailed out packages to friends – some Sekhmet anointing oil to April and some of my Red Fast Luck Oil to Wendy. All in all, a damn good day.

Floppy

written: July 31

Photo 122/1001



I was cleaning out Sandy’s office for her (they are having to move) and came across a whole box of these floppy disks. Peter (one of our high schoolers) had no idea what it was. To be fair, I was using these during my undergrad years, but he probably wasn’t even in elementary at that point. ::chuckles:: So of course, the other Tech Guys had a blast razzing him about it. He then asked me if it was an “antique”. Man, I felt so damn old. ::laughs::

I finally got a copy of the photo of Mike, the tech I’ve worked with most of the summer and who went off on Tommy (the tech for my campus):



He was a hoot to work with once I figured out his personality. But I can see why some of the other Techs are so irritated by him. He’s very much a Questioner. He has to know the reason why behind everything.

Larvikite

written: July 30

Photo 121/1001



My tumbled Larvikite arrived today! And look at that blue flash! Larvikite is swiftly becoming my all-time favorite stone. I am so glad I stumbled across it at the Gem Show last year and the Harpies demanded a strand of Larvikite beads. Which reminds me, I REALLY need to get to work on that damn necklace for them. ::laughs:: I honestly just new a few more items and I could easily make it. But, replica eagle claws aren’t exactly cheap…or at least the NICE looking replica claws aren’t. I could get some from the Oriental Trading Company for dirt-cheap, but they look like complete and utter crap. The ones I want are around $15 each, I think. And I need 2, possibly 4, for the necklace I have in mind. And then I also need some black beads, but I can get those fairly cheap on eBay. Then it’s just actually sitting down and making it. And then there’s the whole, what do I do with it after I make it? I envision hanging up the black shelf that’s just chillin’ in my closet and setting it up as a mini-altar just for the Harpies. And I could hang the necklace on the shelf.

And the whole reason I bought the Larvikite was so I could get the free Chalice perfume oil. I don’t yet how I feel about it. It has rose for sure, and I’m not always a huge fan of rose…but this one is almost ok. I don’t know. I’ll wear it a few times before I make my decision on it. And I got a sample of Master Healer, which I’m not a fan of at all. I’ll just toss it in with any future trades I do, just so I can get rid of it. ::chuckles::

July Full Moon

written: July 29

Photo 120/1001



Blessed July full moon! This is the Full Buck/Thunder Moon. And I totally forgot to put the antlers on the altar. Oops! I really need to gather up all my altar photos and writes up from over the years and get them printed out and put into a binder. Then, as various Sabbats/Esbats/Holy Days roll around, I can thumb through the previous year(s) altars and get extra inspiration on how I’ll set up that year’s altar. Oh, and I can print out other altars that I find online that I like, and add them in as well, for even more inspiration.

Anyways, this Esbat centered around blessing my new witch’s journal and claiming my new Pagan name. I definitely plan to do an initiation ritual, but I’m leaning more towards doing that around my birthday (November) or when I do my Tabula Rasa ritual (usually late December). So for now, it was more of just acknowledging the new name and claiming it in front of Deity and Spirit.

I definitely want to declutter my room again and move some stuff around. My “art” table is a joke. I don’t think I’ve done anything artistic on it in well over a year. And it’s now become just a catch-all for EVERYTHING. I foresee some serious deep cleaning very, very soon. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind just getting rid of the table (it’s BIG) and possibly getting a smaller one and a nice comfortable chair.

Ok, so standard altar notes for myself (going left to right):

Sekhmet’s Candle
Sekhmet Statue (April’s vial of Sekhmet oil is at Sekhmet’s feet but you can barely see it)
Athame (wasn’t used)
White Full Moon Candle
Selenite sphere (symbolizes Full Moon)
New witch’s journal on top of wooden pentacle
Glass candle holder with Palo Santo wood
Wand (used to Cast Circle)
Black cast iron mini-skillet with Cone Incense (gift from an oil swap, so I have no idea what aroma is it) and a bigger piece of Pala Santo wood that I used to cleanse the area with
Sacred Feather
Piece of petrified palm wood (my grandmother’s) with Shadow Tea light (by SageGoddess; in honor of the Harpies) and my piece of Galaxite stone. My crystal ritual pendant rests on the petrified palm wood slab before I put it on to begin ritual.