Samhain Thoughts

written:  October 7th

Photo for today:
 


My two sleepy loves.

I have knocked out one of the three essays I have for my Midterm for Archives and Manuscripts class. I have read all the articles I’m going to read. ::chuckles:: Now it is just a matter of writing the essays. Hopefully I can knock out the other two essays tomorrow. Then I plan to polish them on Monday and submit by midnight. And then I am done with the Midterm. Honestly, I am ready for this semester to over and done with already. I need to start looking into what I will take next semester. Honestly, I wish I could take a semester off. I’m exhausted. Though, maybe I just need a break. Hopefully Winter Break will be enough of a break for me.

I was supposed to babysit tomorrow, but thankfully the Robinsons’ ended up cancelling. While I certainly wouldn’t say no to the extra cash, I wasn’t looking forward to spending a couple of hours with their son. ::chuckles:: He is very high energy, and I am very low energy at the moment.

Instead, I get to chauffeur my husband around to drop off his guitars with someone to do some repair work tomorrow. ::chuckles:: But we may end up swinging by one of the local Pagan stores. Not that I have much cash to spend, but sometimes, it is just nice to window shop in a Pagan store. ::smiles:: Besides, it will give me an opportunity to catch up on my “Inner Witch October Photo Challenge” and get some interesting photographs.

And at some point, I need to take my car back to Firestone, as it is sounding funny ever since they did the oil change. AND I need to look into getting new tires – NOT from Firestone. I will be getting my car inspected later on this month, and I know it won’t pass inspection with its current tires.

I should also make it a point to pick up some flowers on my trip home to place on family headstones. There seem to be quite a few this year that have been added to our family plot. This has been quite a lethal year. Which also reminds me, I need to print out photos and prepare for Samhain. I have a feeling this is going to a heavy Sabbat. More so than it has been in previous years. I figure I will grab some cheap glass jars to make memorial candles for those who have passed on this year. I should get a list going of names so I know how many jars I will require. Hell, I will probably have to move from my altar and take over the art territory table and use it to house all candles.

I once read about how a coven kept their own “Book of the Dead”….a list of people who have passed on. And I’m thinking that at this point, a book like that would be beneficial. It certainly would make Samhain a bit easier to prepare for.

Tad Envious

written:  October 6th

Photo for the day:

 

I went with a photo to embody the “Inner Witch October Photo Challenge” for Day 3: Candles. A lovely photo of my Dream Wolf Altar. I definitely plan to do MORE with it, but for now? It’s very nice, the Wolf is happy, and my dreams have been very pleasant. So I would say it’s doing its job.
I am thinking of not doing some of the “Inner Witch October Photo Challenges”. Waning/Waxing moon? God? Meh. Not inspiring at all. ::chuckles:: Who knows? I’m mentally all over the place.

Sarah (my rock star aide) is chomping at the bit to learn more. She is talking about the fact that it was discussed she might become a supervisor floater (“floater” is our term for substitutes). If that’s true, I’m going to be hella pissed. Not that I don’t think she’d make a great supervisor floater – she really would. But that would take her away from my campus and I would much rather keep her as long as I can! Though it does seem pretty par for the course – I FINALLY get a good one, and they may end up taking her away from me. But no sense in worrying about that until I know it’s a real thing. For now, I’m just going to keep my fingers crossed and hope she at least stays this school year. After that, I can worry. ::chuckles:: No sense in stressing about it now.

So my three aides today – Sarah, Alexia, and Jess (Alaina had the day off, so she wasn’t there) got to talking about all the amazing things they do through their respective churches. That really caught me off guard. This is the first time that all of my aides are very active in their Christianity. And I’m over here, planning out pagan rituals. ::laughs:: I’m pretty sure Jess has a vague idea that I’m not a Christian. But the others are brand new to my campus, so I’m fairly sure they are completely in the dark on that regard. It’s amazing that they just assume I am a Christian because it’s the dominant religion in our area (and most of the US as well).

The whole situation also struck an envious chord with me – they can openly discuss their religion and it’s ok. They can wear shirts with logos from Churches or Christian universities – hell they HAVE well established Christian universities! With all the freedom they have, I know that the same liberties would not be afforded to me if I were to do any of the above with my Pagan religion.

I know a lot of people would say that I should speak up. I should be out about my religion. I should active combat the negative stereotypes and educate people about Paganism, so that Pagans all around me wouldn’t have to fear about being public about their beliefs. And I get that. I really do. But, I cannot afford to risk my employment and there’s a very real possibility that I could lose my job working with children. If the parents created a big enough stink about it, my bosses would use some other excuse (because I technically cannot be terminated based on religion) to fire me. I just can’t risk that right now.

Thankful Thrusday #40

written: October 5th

Photo for today:



Just a lil Full Moon fun here – takes care of the Inner Witch October Photo Challenge #15 (Full Moon). Two vials of the Red Fast Luck Oil, some bath salts, and some other oils I am sending to two friends.

I need to print the Challenge out and put it in my BaBuJo (Bastardized Bullet Journal) so I can cross off the various ones I do, as I’m not following in order – because it was written for last year, and the moons are different this year around.

I am thankful…
1. Good, long walks with Josey daily. And the fact that we’ve been sprinting back to the house on the very last leg of each of the walks. ::chuckles::
2. My newest aide – Sarah – is FREAKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! Like, holy shit. She’s a fucking godsend. Especially compared to the bulk of the aides I’ve received over the past two years.
3. Mood is definitely improving. I’m having fun at work once again. I’m upbeat. It’s really a wonderful feeling to be honest.
4. I have almost all of my students photographed for our upcoming art project at work. Out of 66 students, I’m just missing the kids that have been out with the flu. Hopefully they will be back next week, so I can get all the pictures taken and sent to my boss to print out in color.
5. We have a FOUR DAY WEEKEND coming up. For whatever reason we get two days off for “Columbus Day”. I don’t like Columbus Day (for obvious reasons), but I will enjoy the nice long weekend.
6. Nice, quiet, VERY low key full moon celebration. Mostly, it was just a time for me to pause, enjoy some quiet time, and just be in the moment.
7. Focusing less on the bullshit negative crap and looking instead for positive situations.
8. The new journal I’m using for my BaBuJo. It’s gold and cream – which is SO unlike me. But I wanted something beefier than a composition notebook, and this journal is working out quite nicely.
9. Steady improvements in the walks with Josey. She’s getting worlds better at me telling her no in regards to sniffing something. Now to just get her to the point of doing the same with people! Ha!
10. Getting the itch to start preparing for my Tabula Rasa ritual. Granted, I won’t be doing the actual ritual until sometime in December, but there’s a lot of leg work that goes into it – like the year review and whatnot. It’s the only ritual that I have consistently performed since I read the article about it in Sage Woman #66 (printed in the Winter of 2005). All my other rituals are very hit and miss…but this one. I have performed this one in some fashion since 2005, and I look forward to it each year.

Yeah, so good stuffs all around. A fairly easy list of Thankfuls to write. Which is nice. Because sometimes, man, I swear it’s like pulling fucking TEETH to come up with 10 things to be grateful for and write them down.

Acorns & Aides

written: October 4th

Photo for the day:



Acorns. I have been walking past this tree for months and every time, I think to myself I should take a photo of the acorns. So I figured today would be a good day to actually accomplish that. ::chuckles::

But that also means, I am TWO days behind on the Inner Witch October Photo challenge. Gotta get some candle photos and some Tarot/Oracle photos to catch up.
Tomorrow is Full Moon and I have plans to hang out for a bit with Hazel at Starbucks. It will be nice to hang out, talk witchcraft, and just enjoy the full moon together. My energy has been all over the place, up one second, down another, so I have no idea what exactly I will be doing for the full moon – ritual/magickal wise.

On the job front, my newest aide, Sarah, started today – woohoo. BUT Jesse got transferred off my campus – boo! I just hate the way the bosses do that…tell us the DAY they transfer the person off. If the reason they are being transferred off one campus isn’t a major problem, then I really wish they would let them know the day before. That way they can tell the students themselves that they are going to another campus and let the kids say good bye to the aide. Instead, I got to explain to the students that Jesse had been transferred and won’t be back. :sighs:: But at least Alexia (my other high school aide) is good friends with him, so she was able to take some of the cards the students had made for Jesse.

Sarah, she is older, but she knows her shit. She is asking all the right questions, and absorbing all the information she possibly can. So I am thinking of grooming her to be a second in command now (and eventually to be a site supervisor like me). Sarah is coming in a bit earlier tomorrow so she can get the required training on EpiPen use – all members of my campus have to be trained as we have an EpiPen for one of our students this year. Thankfully it is just an allergy against fire ants, and that student is very vigilant against all bugs because of this – so hopefully, we will not have to jab her anytime soon. And since that training takes less than 2 minutes, we can then cover any other topics that need to be covered. We addressed quite a bit today. I usually do not toss all the information at them on day one, but Sarah was absorbing it left and right and asking for more information. Color me impressed. Now the real trick will be to see how much she retains. ::chuckles:: I figure if I touch on those topics once a week with the entire group, it will keep everyone on the same page. I really need to sit down and create a training “manual” like I discussed in yesterday’s entry…or at least, a list of topics to touch on throughout the year. Yeah, like when the fuck will I find the time to do that? ::laughs:: I’ll do in that mythological “Some Day”.

Rainbow & Training

written: October 3rd

Today’s “October Inner Witch Photo Challenge” prompt was candles….but given that I saw a beautiful rainbow upon leaving work….yeah that’s what today’s photo is of:



I will need to take a photo of some candles soon enough to catch up on the Inner Witch Photo Challenge. ::chuckles:: Just not today. Prompts are nice and all, because they challenge me to photograph things that I would normally overlook. But when nature gives you something that spectacular? Yeah, I will go with that in a heartbeat, every single time. And given that the rainbow kept getting stronger the longer I was out there. Typically, I catch rainbows towards the end of their life, and so the first photo I take is always the best. But this one? It just kept getting better and better. The colors were stronger. I was hoping it would eventually develop into a full rainbow, but it did not quite achieve that. But still. A very nice rainbow. ::smiles::

Kindly, the storms held off until after I walked Josey to start rumbling in. Josey and I tried out the other walking loop and did fairly well. Only one loose dog. ::sighs:: Another little yappy shit. I need to get a slingshot and just peg those damn dogs. Take a pebble to the rib cage and they just might think twice about coming after my dog and I. Josey and I didn’t complete the loop like I hoped, as there were just way too many people out and about. I think I will hold off on this particular loop until it cools off enough that Josey and I can walk it in the early afternoons before I go to work. Hopefully then, the people will be elsewhere and we can walk there without any issues.

Surprise, surprise, my new aide will not be starting today…but tomorrow. Apparently, today, my new aide has to do the “new hire” training. Which I would be very curious to know what exactly that entails their “new hire” training…because my new aides come in not knowing shit. Hell, they don’t even know how to clock in to get paid for their time! I need to email Janice (the Program Assistant) and inquire what exact they are “training” the aides on during these “training sessions”. That would really help me know what all I need to train my staff on when they get onto my campus. Because this hit and miss bullshit just is not helping me or my campus in the end at all. ::chuckles::

Or honestly, I should just work on developing my own training “manual” of sorts for my campus. And if I end up covering something that was covered in their “new hire training”, well, at least it was DEFINITELY covered at this point. ::chuckles:: Just sucks that if the aides miss the week of orientation training that takes place the week before school starts, then they receive ZERO training before being tossed into the program. Whatever happened to ensuring they know the basics so that they are set up to SUCCEED and be good workers? Oh well. At least this way, I can train them for MY campus and the way I want/need it run and they don’t come to my campus with preconceived ideas that I have to train out of them. ::laughs:: How’s THAT for a positive spin?

The Elements

written: October 2nd

The Inner Witch October Photo Challenge prompt for today is “The Elements”:



I am taking a bit more creative license with the interpretation of “The Elements” with this photo. Here we have picture the elements that make this lil Wolf Witch happy. ::laughs:: And, let’s see. The gemstones are the element Earth. The oil is obviously Water, but its scent would be the element Air. And the silver charms, while initially Earth, had to be worked with Fire to shape them. So technically, all four Elements are present. ::smiles::

I traded away “Samhain” (perfume oil by Sage Goddess) to a lovely lady in Las Vegas for her bottle of “Enlightenment”. I was taking a huge risk because I had zero idea what “Enlightenment” smelled like, but I figured if nothing else, if it didn’t work out for me, I could always trade it for something else. ::chuckles:: But holy crap, it smells amazing. A very sharp, crisp floral-ish aroma. I really like it.

Gail (my supervisor) swung by today to drop off our complimentary Fair tickets. She helped me sort out another issue with ProCare. I am seriously starting to hate that damn software. When it’s good, it’s GREAT. But when it shits the bed….it is HORRIBLE. And it doesn’t just shit the bed once. Oh no. It CONTINUES shitting said bed.

But the main kicker? She told me my new aide is supposed to start tomorrow. Seems I’m still getting the former crossing guard! You could have knocked me over with a feather. I’m still not 100% believing it…given my supervisor’s track record with retracting promises (and out right lying)…but I’m hopeful. How awesome would it be to an extra aide?

Like my husband said when I told him – if it turns out to be true, I’m sure as shit buying a lottery ticket! ::laughs::

So apparently the news is out now about my Aunt Kathy’s passing. A number of her friends have posted on her Facebook page, expressing their last thoughts to her. I find it interesting that this is the new form of mourning and that most of the time, the deceased individual’s Facebook page is left up. Kind of like a digital shrine. And that thought comforts me. It is the same as going to the deceased individual’s burial place and talking to them, but now distance doesn’t bar you from talking to that person. I know a lot of people will bitch and moan that this will destroy “traditional” ways of grieving…that it proves how much the digital world dominates our “society”. That somehow this lessen the impact. I dunno. I think too many people wring their hands over stuff that doesn’t fucking matter. People will grieve in whatever manner they need.

I neglected to mention that Betsy (a dear journaling buddy) has also started a challenge for this month that I’ve also signed up for. ::laughs:: I swear, Octobers are always my craziest month! Her challenge is 31 days of Self-Care. I’m committing to drinking more water, less coffee, and doing more physical exercise. Josey and I took a different walking route for the first half of our walk. And even though we had another small dog out loose and behaving like it was going to eat us (soooo over this lil man syndrome dogs), it was good. We didn’t get to complete the loop like I wanted, but we did get quite a bit of walking done. And at least Josey wasn’t terrified the entire like (like the last time we attempted the new walking loop). Maybe if I switch to walking her before work (once it cools off), we can actually complete the full loop. Almost makes me wish I was still wearing my FitBit, to see how the distance for this loop compares to the distance of our normal loop. Hell, if I was feeling particularly squirrely and it was so damn hot, I would do both loops with Josey.

The Smack Down

written:  October 1st

October 1st!
This is the beginning of another round of the National Journal Writing Month Challenge. I’m going for the daily entry (like I have been doing all year thus far) and for 500+ words each day.

 

AND I’m also doing the Inner Witch October Photo Challenge. I’m using the same prompts from last year as I couldn’t find an updated one, so I’ll just modify it as needed:

 

So, today’s photo prompt is “Sacred Space”. Originally, I was planning to take a photo of my entire altar with the doors open, so one could see the storage underneath my altar. But, given that the gods have been talking to me…ok, basically issuing me a challenge for this month (because CLEARLY I do not have enough challenges just yet)…and they were getting pretty damn insistent that I take up their challenge. And trust me, if I were to attempt to not take up a challenge laid down by Sekhmet? Um, yeah. She doesn’t take no for an answer. So instead, She would have continue prodding and prodding and PRODDING until I accepted it. At least I’ve learned that much in the 20 or so years I’ve been working with Her. So yeah, I accepted the challenge before I earned a good old fashioned smack upside the head that will knock me cross-eyed for a bit. And to demonstrate that I understood the challenge AND accepted it, I brought all three of Her statues out, WITH their garnet offerings and lit a stick of “Egyptian Musk” (free sample I received with my order from Dazey Mae Treasures).

 

I’m keeping mum on the challenge Sekhmet’s laid down. All I’ll say is that this is one of those multi-level challenges. I was being an arrogant lil asshole, so high and mighty on myself against these other “witches” in this FB group I’m a member of. They are going on and on and ON about Shadow Work. It’s such the “in” thing to do. They talk about how they go face their darkest sides of themselves each Samhain season and how “great” it is. ::shakes her head:: Let me tell you…Shadow Work is dark, and dirty, and you essentially burn yourself to the ground and then spend the rest of the time putting yourself back together. And it takes months to accomplish. If they are doing it in a week or two? They are barely scratching the surface. And who in their fucking right might would actively seek that out?

So, I was all high and mighty about this, looking down my nose at them….and Sekhmet took notice. ::sighs:: So guess who’s plunging me down into a bit of Shadow Work with this challenge She’s laid upon me? ::sighs again:: Yep, this lil Wolfie. So yeah, there’s the Challenge…and then the lesson in the folly of arrogance (yep, sitting through that class again….my arrogance is my hubris and it ALWAYS leads to my downfall of some sort. And yet, I pick it right back up again and start waving it around again. I swear, if I were to design a flag to perfectly sum up my hubris….it would be a white flag with a MASSIVE red bullseye on it. Hmmm, I wonder if I could work that into some magick to aid in this newest Challenge? Must think on that more.