A Defining -- Spiritually Inspired

Creativity and personal Freedom are cornerstones of my spiritual Customs.  These are gifts to be nurtured and treasured and encouraged. And my spiritual Path does all that.

There is no set in stone dogma I must adhere to.  No rigid code of behavior.  I don't require anything beyond natural consequences to convince of me to choose the Right Action.  No sin.  No hell.  No eternal damnation if I should be "bad".  And while so many of the Faithful believe that this is the sure recipe for rampant cruelty and that the non-Faithful cannot more moral or just -- I proclaim just the opposite.  Doing the right thing solely because you fear damnation, makes you damned already.  But choosing to do the right thing because it is the right thing (without looking to the reward and/or punishment) is what makes one truly Moral.

My expression of creativity and personal freedom is reflected in my Customs.  I can Cast a Circle or not.  I can invoke a deity, a hundred deities, or none at all.  I can sing or dance, recite poetry, speak in tongues, or simply bask in the wonder and beauty that is Life.

I am encouraged to pursue my passions.  I am not treated like I'm evil -- accused of orchestrating the "fall from grace".  I am not dirty simply because I menstruate or enjoy sex.  I am celebrated and empowered to be a better woman simply because I am a woman.  I do not need saving because I am not damned for the singular sin of having been born.

I behold the world around me as a place of beauty and wonder.  I do not believe that the earth is merely here for us to use and discard.

I see Spirit all around us.  I feel it in the sun that warms my shoulders, the rough tree bark under my fingers when I stroke the trees in greeting on my daily walks.  I feel it rippling through me as the Harpies bring forth the rain, the lightning, the thunder within a glorious and wild Texas storm.  I hear it in the multitude of birdsong, frogsong, and in the creaking and rubbing the trees do as the breezes pass through their canopies.

I need no special religious clergy, set above me, to tell me what the Divine wants of me.  I speak to the Divine, soul to soul, daily -- words and symbols, metaphors and longings that would be lost in translation to another.

For example, the Divine may send a Werewolf in my dreams.  And to another, this is terrifying -- a monster.  But to me?  It is simply myself -- a melding of my human (physical) and my lupine (spiritual).  Not a monster, but a sign that I am doing what I need to do -- that I am aligned.  I am balanced.  I am simply Me.

So why would I look to another to tell me what the Werewolf means?  They would get the meaning all twisted and perverted.  And that is what I see in the faiths that have such rigid dogma, no room for Divine connection.  These sheep rely on the word of their shepherd and trust that his interpretation of the Divine Inspiration is correct (if indeed he even possesses that true spark).  And then the whole rule that the Divine will only speak to Males...that Females are forbidden to speak in their Holy places?  Why would the Divine set one sex above the other like that?  It just does not make sense to me.

So count me out.  I'll not sit meekly in your halls that reek of old gold, dead wood, and deader words.  I'll be the Heathen, dancing in the fields by night with the Lunar Madness in my heart, and a fire in my eyes.

A Message from Godzilla

And now, for a much needed break from all the super serious spiritual talk.

A message from Godzilla:

Happy Easter!

Full Moon / Esbat

Full Moon is tonight.  It's actually the Full Pink Moon, though everyone's calling it a "blood" Moon, because of the lunar eclipse that will occur bright and early tomorrow morning.  *sighs*  The Blood Moon isn't until October, but it's humorous to see everyone getting so worked up over this "blood" Moon.  Just another one of those situations where the new stations figure it sounds cool so they just run with it without understanding one part of the whole thing.

This Full Moon is supposed to be extra auspicious for goals and plans revolving around knowledge.  So fortuitous for me, as I planned to bless my GRE prep manual in hopes that it will motivate me to pick it back up.  Gotta love when these things sync up so nicely.

Hell, most of the time I don't even check what the "correspondence" is for each Moon.  I generally don't practice Magick.  *shrugs*  I always felt the best magick was in doing the work to accomplish your goals instead of lighting a candle and making a wish.  It's been my experience the gods help those who first help themselves. 

Then again, maybe if I had some warm and fuzzy gods, I could sit back more and let them do the work.  That shit isn't tolerated one iota by Sekhmet, La Lupa, the Serpent, nor the Harpies.  I have butt-kicking deities and spirits that I work with and they certainly have no qualms in smacking me upside my head and telling me to do the work myself.  Now, they will lend a hand when called upon in real need.  But they certainly will not do all the work for me.

I do love these tangents that I go off on.  It simply drives home that spirituality and beliefs are more like a spider web for me.  You cannot touch one strand without setting all the others a-quiver.  It's all linked back together, one way or another.

Anyways, back to the Full Moon.  Full Moon rituals are called Esbats in neo-Paganism/Wicca.  For me, an Esbat is usually just a time for me to pause and enjoy the beauty of a lovely Full Moon.  Seriously, my breath never fails to catch when I spy a Full Moon, and these Esbats are just reminders for me to take pause from my every day, mundane life, and appreciate the beauty.  To reaffirm my connection to the Natural World.  To the world that makes the most sense me on all levels.

I generally do not Cast a Circle.  Honestly, I rarely Cast a Circle.  In ritual, most of the time, I'm just connecting back with the Natural World, so why would I cast a magickal boundary separating me from that?  I have more than enough separation in my every day life.  I do not seek to bolster that in my spiritual customs as well.

So, for me, the Full Moon is a call to my Lupine Spirit.  It reaffirms my place in the Natural World.  It brings me back to my core Customs.  I may be dedicated to a solar Goddess, but my heart and spirit belong to the Night, to the Wolf, and to the Moon.  Always.  Those were the first things my spirit connected with, and I feel it will be that way all my life.

Time to go howl at the Moon.

Seriously.

The Serpent

The Serpent.  One of my more "recent" animal infatuations -- as compared to Wolves or Big Cats that have been with me as long as I can remember.  And, like most animals that fascinate me and capture my attention, they are ones that the general public disdain -- and know so very little about.

And Snake as a totem....so much power there.  But I won't delve into what the standard totem readings for this animal are.  I'm delving more into my personal relationship, my personal interactions with the animal and the Spirit.

Surprisingly, since getting my pet snake, a female lavender corn snake aptly named Leviathan back in 2007, she's been teaching me so much.  You don't interact with a reptile on the same level as you a mammal.  Reptiles just do not require constant social interaction or affection.  They are resiliently self-sufficient and hardy animals that once you earn their trust, they really show you their subtle personalities and quirks.  Leviathan has also brought to the surface, in small doses mind you, my latent femininity.  Most of the time, I scoff at "girlie" things, but with her around, she's reminded me of the subtle beauty that such things do embody....if I will just look at them and see them, without passing judgment.  While you won't be seeing me sporting any pink clothing any time soon, I don't run screaming in the opposite direction when I see it now. 

As a Spirit, Snake is all about Sight.  Snakes have a transparent eye cap scale that covers the eye, so their eyes are always "open".  There is no "eyelid" to close.  So the Snake always sees.  Snakes also shed the skin they outgrow multiple times a year, much akin to how I shed outgrown ideals and thought patterns. 

For me, the Snake is the ultimate symbol of Illumination.  It is generally immune to its own venom -- symbolizing victory over death.  Its eyes are always open, always seeing -- symbolizing a choice not to turn a blind eye to the Truth; to see things for what they truly are.  They shed the things they've outgrown and are shiny and new underneath....until they outgrow that new skin and shed yet again.  Always growing, always changing.  Immortal.

And then there's the whole link to Lucifer.  * grins and winks *  Couldn't leave that one out.  For me, Lucifer is the Light Bringer, the Truth Sayer, the Liberator.  I know this flies in the face of conventional thought about him, but he accepted the role of the Adversary because he knows the ultimate good that will come of it.  He "tricked" Eve into eating of the Tree of Knowledge, so that we all may ingest knowledge and become better for it.  And he did that in the guise of the Serpent.   

And finally, the Serpent is a symbol of ingenuity.  I mean, stop and look at this animal for a second.  Really stop.  And really look.  Here is an animal that elected to evolve without the use of limbs.  How much easier is your life simply because you have legs and arms, not to mention that massive advantage of hands and fingers?  And yet, even without those advantages, this animal populates every continent except Antarctica!  Truly fascinating creatures.

Important: Nature

"I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order." ~ John Burroughs

Nature plays a very significant role in my life and is a core pillar of my Spiritual Path -- the heart and soul of my Customs.  Everything else in my Customs will change and evolve, shapeshift and modify -- but Nature?  Nature is the only constant.

Now, I should define what Nature is to me and what exactly I mean when I use the term capitalized.  Most would assume, given my Pagan faith, that I link Nature with "Mother Earth" or some "Earth Goddess" -- some spirit or deity.  But, me being the unconventional type, I don't.  At least, not in the way most Pagans do.

Nature has an energy -- a spirit to it, but nothing like a deity.  It's too raw, too elemental to ever be a deity to me.  She'll (I refer to Nature as female just for my own benefit here) accept no offerings -- I have nothing She requires.  And I like that.  I can respect that.  I meet Her on neutral territory and can simply enjoy Her company as She is.

Now, granted, Nature is brutal, and we humans are merely guests here.  She holds all the cards, and we would do well to remember that.  But nothing She does, no matter the impact it has on us, is ever done for the sole sake of being cruel.  It all serves a purpose, and that I can get behind.

Too much of human life just seems so pointless, so sense-less.  I mean, it all serves a purpose of some sort within our culture.  But beyond that?  Nothing of merit is really accomplished.  I am so disillusioned with the bulk of American materialistic culture.

But back to Nature -- on all fronts.  For me, that wild energy that flows in Nature is something my Spirit requires.  I need those untouched (or at least less-touched) spaces to recharge, relax, and to just shed all the daily grind and negativity that my everyday life drags me through.

I need that connection to something greater than myself, something I can readily see and experience with my five normal senses.  I need that connection to Nature to put all the daily battles into perspective.  Nature reminds me, that in the grand scope of Life, shitty coworkers aren't the end of the world.  That rude and inconsiderate neighbors don't have to ruin an otherwise good day.

The gist of it all, those moments in which I get to soak up untainted solitude in Nature are one of the main reasons I am not a murderous psychopath.

I live for the daily walks with Holly (my husband's dog).  They are the highlight of my day.  Just me, the dog, and the animals and Nature that are all marooned here in the heart of the city.  And yet, we all make it work.  There is just something about these wild animals, from reptiles to birds to mammals, both large and small, that are thriving here in the city that remind me I can do the same thing.  In fact, they are teaching me that just because I live in the city, that doesn't mean I have to relinquish my Wild Spirit.

And that is a truly amazing gift.

From Nature.

Emancipation (Poem)

oops. wrote this back on March 23rd, but never got around to typing it up.

I have so much rage in my heart,
..that I swear it is near bursting

I am a Warrior
..and walk the Warrior Path
....yet have no War
...................no Battle
.......................in which to release it all

So I sit here
..rage simmering just behind
......................................my Lupine Eyes
.........waiting for the Call to Arms

Oh fear me, Sheep
..I am Celaeno in the flesh
..I am Sekhmet’s daughter
..I am The Pythia

I am Vengeance
..I am War
.....I am Sight beyond Sight
.........I am the Serpent
..................of Illumination
.................and Prophecy

More and more
..I shed this quiet
..............meek woman husk
..to reveal my True Self

I am made of Scales
..and Feathers
..Talons, Fur, and Fangs
....oh, oh, oh
..........I am Predator

Yet, I am kept in check
..Celaeno whispers in my ear
..................................we only punish those who have
.........................................................................Earned it
..Sekhmet strokes my fur
.........the destruction of mankind
.........................while thrilling at the time
....................................................solves nothing
..the Serpent coils around and reminds me
..........it is not my place to force Sight
........................................on anyone
.........................that would infringe upon Free Will

It is Free Will that I strive for
..a breaking of bonds
...........True Emancipation of the Soul
............................and that, my dears,
.......................................takes Time

Customs

"In truth, the word religion would have been an unknown, foreign term to [the Vikings].  The Nordic tribes preferred the word "customs" as -- like the Greek and Romans -- their rituals, beliefs, and traditions were undefined and fluidly interpreted, orally passed down rather than rigidly studied." -- from "The True Meaning of Paganism" by Ryan Stone.

I really like this term "customs" as opposed to "religion" in regards to my personal rites, ceremonies, observances, and beliefs.  I find this term especially appropriated, given how Mr. Stone uses it.

My customs are ever-evolving.  I adopt, adapt, and discard whatever I come across.  I am truly a Raven Spirit in this regard.  If I come across a ritual, altar set up, or concept that strikes my fancy, I collect it up and turn it over in my mind.  I tweak it to fit my personality and test it out.  If it works, I keep it, and continue to tweak it each time I use it.  If it doesn't work, I see if anything is salvageable from the original idea and then discard the rest.

Within my "customs" you will find elements of Paganism, Wicca, Traditional Witchcraft, Shamanism (both New World and Old World elements), Satanism, Luciferianism, and a whole lot of my own personal flavorings.

For instance, after I did my first Sweat Lodge, Buckskin (the Medicine Woman hosting the Lodge and a good friend of mine) said I needed to make offerings of tobacco after each rainstorm, as the Thunder Beings had visited us during the Lodge.  I did that for a number of years before I realized that I no longer felt any connection to the Thunder Beings.  I opted to honor just the Storm because it brings rain, which Texas can always use, but switched over to an offering of incense instead of tobacco.  And, here in the past year or so, I've begun working with the Greek Harpies.  Originally they were storm goddesses, so I've modified my personal custom to light incense in their honor during the storms, and to ask for their protection as well -- as storms in Texas can turn very nasty.

I am currently reevaluating the Pagan Wheel of the Year -- the eight major holidays (called Sabbats) that follow a very generic neo-Pagan story of the God and Goddess throughout the seasons.  The standard mythos means nothing to me for a number of reasons.  First off, the God plays no significant role in my faith.  Secondly, the mythos revolves around the Goddess giving birth and being a mother -- something I have chosen not to participate in and have no desire to ever do.  Also, most of the Goddesses in the mythos have no ties to me.  They are typically very stereotypical Female -- something I don't feel any real kinship for.

And then there is my actual relationship with the Divine.  I see the Divine much akin to a parent.  In the beginning, you are extremely dependent on It -- looking to It for guidance and support as you start out on your Spiritual Path.  But as you learn to walk and learn what works for you, you become more self-reliant.  And ultimately, Self-Reliance is what I feel we should all be striving for.

Note: Ryan Stone's full article on "The true meaning of Paganism" (which I highly recommend) can be found here:

http://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/true-meaning-paganism-002306