MoonChild

I am very much a creature of Cycles.
Of the flow and ebb of life.
The pull of the Moon on Waters that run very deep in my core.

I’ve made it a point to be more active in the journaling group I’m a co-moderator of. For a very long, long, LOOOOOONG time, this group had a very strong core of people that I could rely on for anything....regardless that I’d never actually met a single one of them in person.

God, the shit they saw me endure. The shit they encouraged me to endure. The history we all have.
They were there when I first started dating my psycho-ex in 2001. They saw me through the very bitter end....and then the crazy, stupid, long-drawn-out hanging-on I did for a year after that relationship terminated officially. They endured with me through my years of cutting and are celebrating each year I’ve been Self-Inflicted Injury free (8 years and counting now). They have ridden the Bipolar waves with me.....soaring manias and crushing depressions.

And, slowly…over the most recent years....we’ve been fading from the group. Not sharing as much, not talking as much, not delving as deeply as we had been. I know I started pulling back once I joined the Facebook horde. It was just easier to share tiny snippets of my life, moment to moment, and read what the others were reading. It was easier to simply gloss over life and say “Eh, good enough.”

If Facebook and journaling were eating habits:
Facebook is junk food. And I’ve been binging on stale chips for years now.
Journaling is soul food, that mom’s-special-meal that, when you eat it, wraps you in a loving embrace from the inside out.

And I need more MEALS and less binging.

So I’ve made it a point to do more in the journaling group. I’m not pushing the others to join it. I’m simply sharing more, and responding more to what they share. And it’s bringing them all back ‘round.

And I can’t even begin to articulate how much this warms my soul. These people, most I’ve never met, mean so incredibly much to me. We come from all walks of life, all age ranges (though, I’m pretty much the “baby” of the group), and from all over the world. And it’s our love of journaling, and our willingness to be vulnerable with each other that brings us together and bonds us.

Life is not linear....from what I see. It’s not a straight shot from Point A to Point Z with the whole alphabet laid out neatly, in order, in a row.

For me, life is a spiral…a wandering, meandering river.
Sometimes, it slows to a small creek, trickling through the woods.
Sometimes, it is a raging rapids, churning up the world, smoothing down rocks, and changing the face of the land it cuts through.
Sometimes, it is a glorious waterfall. One moment you are cruising along, and the next, you are airborne and flying and enjoying the moment.

And then it returns to the little creek.

So ebb and flow, meandering around this world.
Seems to be a great way to live.