Thugs

Yesterday I was walking Holly through the wooded trails near our apartment, as I do almost every day. It's one of the highlights of my day. But not yesterday.

Yesterday, as I rounded the first bend where a relatively new picnic table has been put in, I stumbled across the new local homeless lady and three Black male teens (I'm guessing the youngest was about 14, while the oldest was 19...maybe 21). The two older males get up from the picnic table and the homeless lady looked really worried.

And thus begins the heckling.

Asking me if I had any money on me. Asking me if I had a phone on me. Asking me why I "ain't got no jewelry"? Was I a dyke? What type of dog did I have? What was her name? What's my name?

And all of this, while trailing not two feet behind me. I told them I wouldn't stop to chat, that I had things to do and just kept walking....while mentally going through my plan of attack, should it come down to that.

It was the oldest male that was the real danger. He was the one starting this. He was the one peppering me with questions, sizing me up. He was the one trailing not two feet behind me.

The second oldest was about four feet behind him, also sizing me up. But he wasn't actually engaging in the pestering, so his threat level to me at that point was lesser.

And the youngest hadn't even gotten up from the table, so he was not a threat at all at that point.

That is the most terrified I've ever been in my woods. It was the longest 40 feet I've ever walked. Once I came up out of the first part of the wooded trail, I crossed the street. At this point, normally, I would have entered the second part of the wooded trail, but I just couldn't take the chance that either they would follow me in there and finish what they started...or that there were more in that side.

So I followed the road back home and immediately called the police. I don't carry my phone on me when I walk because I don't want that distraction. But I sure as shit carry it now. I asked the cops to check on the homeless lady, in case she was a victim too.

But of course, by the time the cops got there, they were all long gone.

And what makes me the most angry about the whole situation, is that I didn't listen to my intuition.
I knew going down there was a bad idea once I spotted the teens. But I didn't want to be thought of as a racist if I turned around and walked back the way I came.

But you know what? I don't give a shit now. They can think I'm a racist all they want. I will do what I deem best to keep myself safe. And if some group gets all offended because I refuse to walk past a group of Black males in my woods again, they can fucking suck it. I will not put myself through that again just to try to prove that I'm an enlightened woman.

Fuck that. I'm a smart and cunning woman. I'm a survivor. And I will not sacrifice my personal safety to make others feel better about my motives.

So don't call me a racist because I don't trust young Black males now.
That's the face they showed me. I'm simply reacting in a manner to keep myself safe.