Clean Down to the Bone

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Happy Halloween!
Blessed Samhain!

Hippy flower crown borrowed from a student.

Normally, I would have a photo of a ritual or at least a jack-o-lantern for this day. But, seriously, NOTHING has gone according to plan this entire year, so why would Halloween prove to be any different?

But I’m seriously ok with that. No really. I am. I am ok with the chaos that has been shaking up my life this year. Shark is the totem for me for 2019…and I hadn’t thought about the fact that Shark is a devourer. And she certainly has eaten me alive this year. BUT, it clears out everything dead and decaying. Just like the hundreds of vultures that come through my area each morning.

I think all of this has been to purify my life. To strip away all the things that no longer serve my highest good in life. When you are picked clean down to the bones…the Necessities of life become so much more apparent. And the rest is just fluff and noise.

But it’s finally quiet. It’s finally silent. I’ve been pared all the way to the bone. And there I have found my strength.

My strength lies in my family, both the living and the ancestors, both those of blood and those of choice.

My strength lies in my Spirituality. And for now, part of that is entwined with the Coven. I’ve been on sabbatical this entire month, and it’s exactly what I needed. I just couldn’t be a part of the group while I was shedding all this old skin, old self, old way. I was crabby and uncomfortable and blind. But I’ve come out on the other side, sleek and new once more.

My strength lies in ME. I am my own greatest enemy and my own greatest strength. And for now, all that Scorpio venom and intelligence is being turned outwards. I’m done playing nice. I’m done worrying about ruffling feathers. I’m speaking the truth now, loud and clear. Beware, for my bite is worst that my bark…and my bark can be quite terrifying.

Pentacle

written: October 30

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My custom pentacle from Elemental Enchantments arrived on Monday! I LOVE IT! I’ve been on the wait list for about 2 years now for one of her pentacles and I couldn’t be happier with it.

She used moonstone beads and a larvikite stone for the centerpiece (my request). After that I just wanted dark blue and silver to be the overall colors. She ended up using dumortierite (the dark blue stones). The tiny beads around the larvikite centerpiece are blue and clear glass. The rest is silver tone metal beads, silver tone copper wire, and dark blue organza ribbon.

Seriously, WELL worth the wait and the price. I got a small pentacle, and with shipping it was $60. But she also does an AMAZING job packing the item to ensure it doesn’t get damaged in transit. Hands down, you can FEEL the love and care she puts into each item from start to finish.

Now the hard part is figuring out where I’m going to hang it. I may end up hanging it by my bed. Or inside my Gamme, when I get it built. Or maybe I’ll just commission another pentacle for that. ::chuckles::

Cold and rainy and WET was the theme for today’s weather. It’s actually going to drop below freezing tonight. Fingers crossed that my roses survive it. She still has a ton of blossoms that haven’t fully opened yet. I should probably just harvest them and start working on making rose beads. Hopefully the weather this weekend will be nice and I can spend the day doing that.

I should probably harvest the last of the basil as well, to ensure I have enough for the spell bottles I plan to have the Coven create when I do my own full moon ritual for them in January. Plus, I need to begin gathering up the supplies that ritual will require. I am a huge fan of spreading that out over the next few paychecks, just to keep the financial impact low. Really, it’s just the little bottles that will be the most expensive part. Everything else should be super cheap. And even then, the bottles won’t be crazy expensive, so I’m not too terribly worried.

Emily (sub) text me today to say that the Da. Library had reached out to her earlier as one of my references. ::squee:: Hopefully this means they are seriously considering me for one of their open positions. Please, please, please let them offer me a job! That would be so damn amazing right now.

Squirrel Watching

written: October 29

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Josey, squirrel-watching through the front window. ::chuckles:: I love how she looks like she’s ready to jump through the window for that squirrel.

Vultures

written: October 28

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I had a flock of 100+ vultures soar over my yard today.



It’s hard to get a picture of it, but each one of those black specks is an individual vulture. So freaking cool. I have never seen a flock of vultures this large. And here I thought the flock of 26 I saw previously was huge. The most amazing part was how completely silent they were. If I didn’t see them, I never would have known they were there.

And then one of my students asked if he could play with his toy. THIS is what he brought out of his backpack.



::sighs:: Yeah, this is totally how I wanted to start my fucking week. So yeah, needless to say, that started fun notifications. I had to notify my supervisor, the principal of the school, and then his parents. ::sighs:: It just sucks because this is probably going to land him in serious trouble, yet he’s definitely developmentally delayed. He doesn’t understand most things.

Self-Care

written: October 27

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Roasted pumpkin seeds.

Today was a crazy productive day for me, especially given how heavy the depression has been this year. I got up and took a fabulous shower. I shaved my legs, conditioned my hair, put lotion on my legs and arms, AND did a face mask. I did more self-care today than I have done in ages.

I then roasted pumpkin seeds as my reward. ::chuckles:: Not my best, but still very tasty. I just need to remember when I think I’ve used enough Worcestershire sauce…add on some more. ::chuckles::

Other than that, just a nice quiet day at the house. David’s working from home today, so for about 4 hours in the afternoon, it’s pretty much just me and Josey.

Bad Employee

written: October 26

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Little Miss Leviathan, all coiled up in her tank.

I was a terrible employee today and did not go to the all staff meeting today. I’m sorry, but I’m already giving so much of myself to this damn part-time job, that I just couldn’t stomach giving MORE of my time to it. So yeah, I slept in and just relaxed. I seriously needed it.

My mom sent us a fabulous goody box for Halloween. She sent some of the peanut butter balls. And she put some of the Halloween stamps on the box. Which the post office didn’t cancel out. So I put some in my journal and some in Sharmila’s journal as well. ::smiles::

Banishing

written: October 25

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Rain on the railing.

Thankfully, after the insanity that was yesterday…today was worlds calmer. Even all the parents that were rude and shit to my staff, demanding to talk to me…they were super mellow with me. Maybe I still have my intimidation edge after all. Because they don’t dare speak to me the way they apparently speak to my staff. Which, admittedly, it’s hard to intimidate me, when I am just as tall, if not taller, than all of them. ::chuckles:: And I don’t back down either. I don’t always have to advance in the game…but I am one to almost always stand my ground and not back down. I also refuse to get excited with them. And when faced with a perfectly calm individual while the parent is completely out of control, it just makes them feel even more stupid about getting that riled up in the first place. ::chuckles toothily:: And yes, that is a very calculated observation on my part.

See, I’m a Scorpio. Everything is calculated to benefit me the best.

While Jackson did have a much calmer day, and I feel that I have made some progress with him, I still came home and did a quickie spell to remove him from my after school program. My program will always be chaotic – it’s a huge pack of children. But Jackson adds a whole ‘nother level of chaos to the mix that is just grinding me down every single day it seems. Worked into the banishing spell, I put in some calming energy as well. Let’s hope it works!