A Wolf

I need to get back in touch with my inner She Wolf again.  Maybe this weekend I can make time for some Feral Time and get back to basics once more.
I used to Shape Shift very easily and talked with my inner She Wolf (a spirit wolf) quite often. 
I rarely hear her any more.  And haven't Shifted in so long.....

Decision

Rose (my High Priestess) emailed the Coven members and let them know that she and Beowulf (the High Priest) are getting a divorce. 
She's removing herself from the Coven, and is forming a loose Circle for those interested.
I asked if there was anyway we could be members of both groups.
And she pretty much said no, as they'll both be doing classes/rituals on Saturday nights.
And I have yet to find a way to be in two places at once.

What a shitty position to be put in.
To have to choose between my High Priest, which I've really grown fond of lately.
Or my High Priestess, who is a rockingly awesome woman in her own right.

I did a gut check, seeing what my intuition had to say on this matter.

And I'm staying with the Coven and the High Priest at this time.

But having to choose really put a damper on my day and I worry about my mental state.
We haven't quite gotten my meds figured out and the depression settles on me rather swiftly.
I've come to realize that I have no healthy way of just being sad, without worrying about it tipping over into depression.
Just gotta keep an eye on myself.

Splintering

My Coven is splintering and I'm not sure what is going to be left once the dust settles.

The High Priestess has asked the High Priest for a divorce and kicked him out.
He's currently couch surfing with Annie (another member of the coven).

The High Priestess is due to announce that she is leaving the Coven tomorrow.
Renny announced last night she was leaving the Coven, and I'm assuming her husband will follow suit.
I'm sure Cedar will follow the High Priestess as he was originally interested in her (found her on an old dating website that she had forgotten all about).

Me, I'm more inclined to be a part of both groups.
Annie's of the same mind.

I don't know about Stephanie, Kat, or Aesa just yet.
I guess it depends on how Rose (the High Priestess) structures her new group. 
Beowulf (the High Priest) says that it would be open to us also.  And he says he'll be available for ritual and class to everyone who wants to be a part of it.

So I don't know if I want to wait and see it all break apart and separate and see which side I'm left on, as I genuinely like all of my Covenmates.
Or if I should just cut the strings now and look for another Coven.
It's all just very sad.

I do feel a bit of loyalty to Beowulf and Annie. 
Saturday was supposed to be a Full Moon Ritual, but instead, we opted to just sit and chat the night away.
And I feel a lot closer to the two of them now.
So I guess, for now, I'll sit tight and watch how this crumbles apart.

Photos 23 - 27 of 365

  Photo 23 of 365
My various claw necklaces.  Starting at the top and going clockwise:
Lion's claw.
Wolf claw
Polar Bear claw (with ram's horn top)
And Black Bear claw (with beaded detailing)


  Photo 24 of 365
Sleepy Holly using the blanket as a pillow.

  Photo 25 of 365
Moth I rescued at work.  I named him Charlie. 

  Photo 26 of 365
Leviathan's sweet face.  :)

  Photo 27 of 365
My new necklace arrived yesterday.  It's made from a piece of Leviathan's shed.  It's really difficult to photograph as the glass on top of the shed is very domed.

Self Care

via tumbler

I'm utterly exhausted.
My MoonTime wears me out. 
Bleeding for days on end....hmm, maybe my iron is low?
Would make sense.

I need to remember that I'm not meant to be Superwoman all the damn time.
My allergies have been kicking up and making me miserable.

I've been wanting to come here and write.
But each time I stare at the blank page, I scamper away.

Why is it so hard to take care of myself?
I know that right now, I should shut down my computer and crawl into bed.
It's early yet for me, at 11:35 pm.  I normally go to bed well past 1 am.
But I could fall asleep right now.
If I would but lay my lil head down.

And yet, I stubbornly refuse.
My MoonTime is a time that I should be resting.
I should be more spiritual.
I should stop pushing the physical limitations of my body.
And yet, I keep pushing. 
Stubborn mule that I am.

But I think I'll try this out, this Self Care.
And take my butt to bed.
Sad to think that it's a major production to just give a damn about myself......
 

Photo 22 of 365: Written Ritual

Photo 22 of 365
My Serpent Based Imbolc Ritual I wrote for my Coven.
I was under the impression that I was writing THE ritual we would be doing.
Instead, I was to write AN Imbolc ritual that they might request my permission to use.  *laughs*  Got myself all worked up and a tad bit stressed out for nothing.
So I've typed it all up and emailed it to my High Priest and Priestess. 
And it feels good to do that.

And I figure, even if we do something else for Imbolc, I may do this ritual for myself anyways.  *smiles*

Photo 21 of 365: Feather Fan

Photo 21 of 365
A feather fan (smudge fan) that I need to get rid of.  I have too much ritual stuff and I don't use half of it.
This one has four large goose feathers dyed white.  And then a grouping of pheasant feathers.  It's 12.5 inches long and 6 inches wide at its widest point.  There's a small clear quartz stone glued to the leather wrapping.