3rd Year Anniversary

David came up to me and said he needed to borrow my purple ring. He took off with it and came back with a jewelry box and said "Happy anniversary!"

Inside it was my purple ring. He was just nice enough to let me wear it all this time. *laughs*

Man I love my husband!

Wolf Scratch Art

I finished up this scratch-art project last night.
It was a kit that I picked up at Michael's craft store. 
I worked on it probably about a week and a half.  And I'm damn proud of it.
I think it turned out very nicely.
I'll have to go back on payday and see what else they have!

I'm slowly breaking the idea that i have that I'm not artistic.  Maybe one of these days I'll be able to do a similar piece, 100% on my own.  I would love that. 
Need to check out some books on drawing/sketching from the library and get to work!  *smiles*

Goddess Protect Me

Goddess be with me today.
Protect me from lies, dishonesty, and vicious negativity.
I ask should these be directed at me
or my staff
that they simply be reflected back
to the sender.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

To say that this has been a hellacious school year would be just scratching the surface.  I've refrained from writing about it because I'm doing my best not to dwell on it.

That, and I'm already having to document it for work, and I just have no desire to continue to beat that dead horse.
Beat the parents that are maliciously LYING?  Sure, I'd be more than happy to do that.
It's just that having assault on my record would greatly limit my career opportunities, so I restrain myself.

Today is that day that the most vicious liar usually comes in to pick up her child.  It's also the ONLY day of the week that she picks him up.  Every other day, it's either the step-father figure or one of four family friends.

This is the one claiming I'm a racist, that I'm bullying her child, that I'm encouraging my staff to bully him, that I protect pedophiles, and everything under the sun that falls into that realm.  Luckily for me, I've documented all of this AND have witnesses that can testify for all the various times she's changed her story.  I've requested that she, my boss, and I all sit down and see if we could get all the facts out at once and clear the air.  She flat out told my boss that's never going to happen because she is just too busy.  *shakes her head*  Which is fine by me, because I have not desire to sit down with this woman and have her lie straight to my face.

At least now I know where her son gets it.  Luckily, he's just as poor a liar as she is.

I've applied for pharmacy jobs through Wallgreens and Target.
Walmart doesn't have any in the area.  I still need to apply through CVS.  And then begin looking at the hospitals.  I want OUT of child care.  Let someone else deal with that stupid cunt.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

This past Saturday, we all met up at Kiranae's house for Mabon.  It was a lovely ritual.  Very personally moving.
Imagine my shock when I heard from Rose (our High Priestess) on Monday, that Kiranae's house had burned to the ground.
Kiranae was at home at the time, but got out safely.  She got three of her four dogs out too.  Sadly, Bailey didn't make it.  The firemen pulled him out (he's an old Yorkie) and were giving him CPR and trying to revive him, but Kiranae finally stopped them and told them he was gone.

She is AMAZINGLY upbeat about the whole situation.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

And I think that's pretty much it that I wanted to touch base on.
I need to get better about writing.
I'm just REALLY enjoying not having the Morning Pages looming over me any more.
I've begun looking at what it's going to cost for me to make the beaded wrap/case for my athame.  I'm really enjoying that.  *smiles*  Can't wait to get started.

Mabon, Maat, and Meaning

Yesterday was Mabon, the Autumn Equinox, the 2nd harvest.  I was lucky enough to finally get to attend ritual with my Coven.  I haven't ritualized in a number of months now, and was really missing my Witches.

Kiranae wrote the ritual. 
We Cast the Circle and Called in the Quarters using "Great Voice".  Which essentially means silently. 
While I've Cast and Called this way before, this time around I just wasn't feeling it.  I guess, honestly, I'm just out of practice.  *chuckles*  I called in the South, which is my standard Direction.  I had a hard time feeling it, and usually when I call in the South, it knocks ya over.  *chuckles*

Rose (High Priestess) called down Ma'at -- Egyptian Goddess of Balance (among other things, but we were focusing on Balance).
Beowulf (High Priest) called down Thoth -- Ma'at's husband and Sacred Scribe.

The rest of us, took some time to reflect on the various aspects/sections of our lives and see where the balance was or wasn't.  On a red piece of paper we wrote down what we wished to banish from our lives. 

I wrote down FEAR OF CHANGE and my constant SELF-SABOTAGE.

On a yellow piece of paper, we wrote down what we wished to bring into our lives.

I wrote down EMPOWERMENT and RECONNECTION (to self and to others).

The Thoth, embodied by Beowulf, took each one of us individually before Ma'at to have Her speak with us.
I was scared to face the Goddess.  I know my life is crazy unbalanced and I feared what She would say.

She told me that I was Balanced.
She warned me to not let all the things circling me to make me dizzy.  I was jumping from subject to subject without accomplishing anything.  And all that swirling around me, was shutting me down.
My time of floating is coming to an end.  I need to focus.  I need to listen to my heart/spirit and it will tell me where my focus belongs.

Talk about humbling. 
So very humbling.

It's experiences like this that make me so grateful to be a Pagan. 
So grateful for my Coven, which facilitates these brushes with the Divine.

And that's why I'm asking for Initiation.  *smiles*

Bam!

Unknown Artist

Oh my goodness, this has been the utter week from hell.
Hell, this entire school year (all FOUR weeks of it) have been utter hell.
The parents are driving me utterly batty, and apparently they believe they can walk all over me.  *chuckles* 
Boy, are they in for a rude awakening.
I apparently didn't get the memo that everyone was eating the cupcake of utter delusions today.

As I was taking a moment of calm in the bathroom at work today (the only place I could find a moment of calm, to be honest), I was grousing about how horrible today had been.
I couldn't understand why a job I sincerely enjoy, had so drastically changed.

And bam!  It hit me like a lightning bolt to the head of my dick (to quote the movie Stepbrothers...great movie by the way) -- a moment of clarity when all the puzzle pieces fell into place.

If I remain comfortable in this job, I will never leave it...I will never get out of the child care field. 
As long as I'm comfortable, I'll remain here, in this rut.

These are the beginning labor pains.  The first tinges of pain that are signaling what is to come.
These labor pains brought me home today, with the overwhelming desire to punch the wall until 1) I punched a hole in the wall, 2) I punched a hole in my hand or broke it, or 3) all of the above, to simply get out my rage.  Thankfully, instead, I comforted myself with bbq chips.  *chuckles*

But the pains are a signal. 
The birth, the change is coming.

And I can either fight it tooth and nail, every step of the way, and make it as painful as possible, without changing the final outcome.

OR

I can breathe through this pain. (take it one day at a time; focus on the good)
I can prepare for the birth. (begin looking for another job)
And I can rejoice in the gift I'm about to receive.  (a new job; a new career; a new Path)

Gotta look deep into my own soul and find that inner strength that I know I possess.
It's time to go on the War Path and Conquer this old foe. (fuck you fear; fuck you self-doubt; fuck you self-sabotage)
 

Thankful Thursday 09.20.12

ART: Lidn 99
ARTIST: catman-suha

I am thankful.....

1. that my bosses totally have my back at work against this psycho bitch parent.
2. trying out a new artistic medium -- a pre-printed scratchboard.  It's a wolf (surprised?) and it's really coming along nicely.  Once it's done, I plan to frame it and hang it up.  And get a new one!  *chuckles*
3. Leviathan shed on Monday and is happily cruising around her tank again.
4. David surprised me with Starbucks today when he got home.  Very cool of him.
5. finished my year of Morning Pages yesterday.  Woohoo!
6. this week from hell is just about over.
7. have the ability to get a little bit of extra time at work now, as I'm authorized to clock in a bit earlier.  Thank goodness!  I plan to get as much time (i.e. MONEY) as possible.
8. truly amazing staff I have this year.  I just like all my staff!
9. ritual this weekend.  It's been months since I've been able to get together with my Coven, so I'm really looking forward to it.
10. money in the bank and coming up with a budget to get everything paid off.  Slowly but surely, I can conquer my debt.

Palmetto

A Palmetto morph corn snake.  Pretty damn cool looking if I say so myself.



And, of course, these guys are EXPENSIVE.  *sighs*  We're talking $4,000 a snake currently, and the breeder is not planning to lower his price anytime soon.