Oops

Welp, didn’t take me all that long to let my 100 Words lapse.  I would remember right as I was crawling into bed.  ::chuckles::  Normally, I would go back and play catch up, but I think I’m just going to continue moving forward.

Yesterday, I helped out at a different Branch other than my Branch.  Sucks because I didn’t get to hang out with Work Bestie, but it wasn’t too terrible meeting new staff and getting to see how another Branch runs.  Plus, when another Branch calls us for help, I can say I already did my part and someone else can go instead.  ::chuckles::  All about how it benefits me.  Plus that Branch was about the same distance from my house as it is to get to my Branch, so it was much less terrible than it could have been.

Exhausted

I am so exhausted. I’m talking a bone-deep weariness. I’m talking, I’m about to start crying, because I am THAT fucking tired.

I’m just over all the bullshit that is swirling around. I’m tired of the viciousness in politics. I’m tired of all the various conflicts going on around the world.
I would love to just tune it all out and just lose myself in some beautiful music and do some art. But I have ZERO focus at the moment.

I need to pack up my desk and move BACK to my original desk. It has to be done by Tuesday, and I don’t work on Mondays. That is when our new programming person is joining us.

I has a Mighty Need!

I has a mighty need! And it actually isn’t ANYTHING to do with fountain pens and/or ink (which are my current hyperfocus and/or obsession).

LOOK AT THIS GLORIOUS THING:

Papasan Video

It’s a double papasan lounge chair. Is that not the most AMAZING napping nest ever? I would legit NEVER LEAVE. I would become one with the bed. You cannot tell me it wouldn’t be heavenly to nestle down in this, with a good book, while a mild thunderstorm rumbled in the background.

In other news, I have a new pen (under $60, so I’m hella chuffed), and a whole SLEW of ink samples coming soon.

100 Word Challenge

Sharmila has revived the 100 Word Challenge in our journaling group.  Ray, a former member claimed by COVID, was the one who really got behind the challenge.  He did his 100 words every day, for YEARS.  Sharmila has begun the practice, as her own journaling has really fallen off as of late, and this is a quick and easy journaling style.  Just a minimum of 100 words.

So, I’m taking up the challenge.  I already journal quite a bit in my physical journal(s) with my fountain pens but have really let my blog collect dust.  So, my challenge is to write at least 100 words a day in my blog.

All the Fountain Pens!

So my husband was watching me clean out 4 fountain pens earlier and asked if I had to do that each time I wanted to swap colors.

I told him yes and he then said, “Well why don’t you just have a pen for each ink?”

I think my husband just told me I need to buy more fountain pens. Or at least that is what I heard!

I pointed out that I have a TON of inks, and the even if I was buying the cheap fountain pens, they are still at least $25 a pop. And the ones I really like? Around $120 and above. ::chuckles::

And then he said, “Well, when I die promise me you wont sell more than one of my guitars to buy pens.”

I told him that depended on how many guitars he had at the time and price I got on said guitar. ::laughs::

Heartbroken

I just found out that my adopted grandma passed away on Tuesday this week.

It’s weird to mourn a person that I never met in person. I have no idea what she looked like.

I only ever talked to her over the phone, when she would call in to tell me what books she liked that I had picked for her, which ones she didn’t, and to tell me when her aid would be coming in to pick up her next round of books.

But man, she was so chipper....such a pleasure to really talk to. And I honestly loved chatting with her, which is highly unusually, as I HATE talking on the phone.

6,570

It’s been 6,570 days (or 18 years) since the last time I engaged in any form of NSSI (non-suicidal self-injury).

I’m just completely awe struck that it’s been that long. The past 5 years or so, have been quite the challenge to maintain this, but I’ve come through. I have no idea.....but I made it. ::chuckles::
Though, on those really dark, dangerous days, I have given myself permission to do NSSI if it ensures I make it through that point. I would much rather have the marks on my arms/hands/knuckles, than having a loved one planning my funeral.

This week. Ah, I had such PLANS! Quick lil dentist visit on Monday. Work blah, blah, blah. Have today off to celebrate And then more work, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah......NONE of that occurred according to ANY sort of plan. Went into the dentist. Was getting that first numbing shot (previous time I was here, I got THREE numbing shots and none of them took, so we moved on to other teeth where the numbing shot DID work). So yeah, getting that first shot, I I feel myself passing out. It’s been a while since I’ve gone fully out. I came to with my dentist and assistant looking utterly horrified at me, and asking if I had a history of seizures....because I apparently just had one.

So, off to the ER with me. Hubs drove me. I get in, we do CT scans of my head – the whole time I’m borderline losing my shit, panicking that I have a tumor or a brain bleed.

Everything came back normal. The doc that came in s 99% sure it was just a full on black out with twitching. His daughter does and says that it certainly can look like a seizure. But since it only lasted 1 minute, and I knew exactly who I was and where I was, that rules out seizures. ::shrugs::

Yeah, because of that, I didn’t see the full solar eclipse here in TX. And to be honest, I’m kind of ok with that. The energy is always.....weird....with solar eclipses. I’ve already told my husband, the next time a solar eclipse of any sort is going to roll through our area, I’m hightailing it OUT of the fucking state. No thank you. Count me out.

But the nice thing? I have a note saying I was not medically cleared to return to work until Thursday.....but I had already requested Thursday off. So basically, I will just work Friday and Saturday of this week. That’s been rather enjoyable.