Family Nap Time

written:  July 13

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Beautiful, almost Full Moon gracing the sky.

We did lunch with David’s co-workers today. Always fun. I really enjoy Tino and Martha, and John and Erica. The food was descent this time around – not great but not bad. I’ll have to remember to stick with the fettuccine alfredo from now on.

Other than that, I’ve been rocking a low-grade headache most of the day and my restlessness has been at an all-time high.

And because we are such the wild couple, when we got back from lunch with David’s co-workers….we took a family nap. ::laughs:: Me, David, and Josey snoozed for a good hour or so in David’s bed. It was kind of nice as we don’t usually do that.

Witch Crafting

written:  July 12

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It was a good day for witch crafting. I officially LOVE my wood burner. I foresee a LOT of projects utilizing the wood burner in my future.

The banishing incense has been made. It ended up being more labor-intensive than I thought it would be, but it will be worth it in the end. I just need to add the whole star anise and let it “ferment”.
It also feels good to have Psycho Ex re-blocked on Facebook. Granted, it’s not like I expected him to do anything or try to contact me. But it’s just nice to be able to have that avenue closed again. Just in case.

I went ahead and “snoozed” quite a few people on Facebook. While I do want to know all the stuff that is going on, there really is only so much heartbreak I can handle. And I’ve hit my limit and I’ve just got to step away from it for a bit.

Seriously, I just think I’m in dire need of a vacation. I just want to drive somewhere new, leave the computer behind, and just be anonymous for a bit. I want to dye my hair that fabulous blue again and shave part of my head. I want to get a tattoo. I just want to be someone different…somewhere different…for a little while.

Crafty

written:  July 11

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Getting Crafty over here. For the ritual on Sunday, I am slated to decorate the altar. Which means, I have to have a god and goddess candles. Well….I don’t have those because I don’t use them. ::chuckles:: So I’m making some. And thus far, I really like the way they’ve turned out. I also picked up a few other little things for the altar. The theme of the ritual is “Reflect” and that’s all the information I’ve been given. Which, I kind of like being mostly in the dark about it. It is really stretching my creativity.

I ended up leaving work a little early today because we finished up all the iPads and they didn’t have anything else for me to do. I mean, I probably could have stayed a few hours, but I had a shit ton of errands I needed to do. So I figured my time would be better spent doing that. Besides, I don’t want my bosses getting in trouble if people see me just sitting around on the clock. Better to leave a little early today and make sure I have a job next week. ::chuckles::

Storm

written:  July 10

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Fabulous storms rolled through today. I had enough time to get home from work (which, was a MUCH better day than yesterday), do a few things around the house before this storm rolled in. Beautiful thunder and lightning and a TON of rain. I thought it would be a blast to play in the rain. I opened up the door and this massive bolt of lightning cracked across the sky followed by a deafening boom that rattled the house. And I said NOPE to playing out there and shut the door. ::laughs::

Progress

written:  July 09

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Teaser photo. Yep, my copy of The Last Unicorn Tarot Deck FINALLY came in! It’s about the ONLY good thing today.

Luckily, no nightmares last night. But damn, I was BUSY in my dreams – leading two different revolutions PLUS capturing and kidnapping Horus, an Egyptian god. But hey, I will take that ANY DAY over having nightmares about the Psycho-Ex. So yay! Progress. ::chuckles::

Work…ug. I don’t even really want to go into the shit show that was today. Suffice it to say, it was all about white privilege, “quiet” racism, and some serious entitlement. They were talking about a young child (I’m talking like 2 years old) that went missing and was found the next day, deceased in the back of an SUV. They were commenting about how “those types of people” (aka, non-white) don’t take care of their children. ::sighs:: But you know if it had been a white family, they would have been talking about what a “tragedy” it was. ::shakes her head::

Yeah, I went home with a tension migraine at 12:30. I just couldn’t be there any longer. Plus, I was still pretty wrung out from the previous evening’s crap. Sometimes, I seriously despise my State. It’s really hard being a liberal in Texas. And now, with Texas being a swing state…those dividing lines are just that much more pronounced.

Honestly, I’m just tired of people being shitty.

Do The Work

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Nothing changes if you don’t put in the work.
A bit of sigil work. This will be burned into the wood this weekend (along with a sigil I’ll be tracing on a wooden box – different from this one in all ways).

My adorable little mortar and pestle arrived today, so I’ve been feeling extra witchy this evening. figured I should get around to really figuring out some sigil work for two upcoming witchy activities.

The sigil above is for a banishing incense I dreamt about a while back (November 2018) that I’ve been slowly gathering the supplies for. This sigil will be burned into the wooden lid of the jar that will contain the incense.

The final ingredient for that incense was to link it to my Psycho Ex. What better way than to use his photo in it? But that required me to unblock him on Facebook so that I could sift through his photos to find the right now. And Facebook has this rule that if you unblock someone, you have to wait a full 48 hours before you can reblock them.

I didn’t realize how much he still affected me. And honestly, it wasn’t so much the photos. It was all the people just fawning all over him, saying what a great guy he is for whatever reason.

And more than that, it was the friends we have in common that honestly hurt the most. The friends that he’s fucked over, that he’s raped, that he’s abused, that he’s bullied, that KNOW what a predator he is…and yet. They are still there, drinking the damn kool-aide and thanking him for the poison. That turned my stomach so much.

They claim he’s changed. But a leopard does not change its spots so easily. Sure I was a shitbag in a number of my relationships because I was young, self-centered, and STUPID. I’ve done what I can to make amends to anyone I hurt back then. I’ve made it a point to reach out to my various exes that I know I did not treat as well as they deserved and have point-blank apologized for my shitty behavior, no excuses given.

But you don’t stop being a predator overnight. No matter how shitty I may have behaved, I sincerely doubt I have left anyone seriously scarred. I never got people drunk for the sole purpose of having sex with them (and they made it clear, while sober, and on many occasions, they were not interested in sleeping with him at all). I never told my significant other repeatedly how sexually attracted I was to their various friends…or parental figures. (Yeah, he used to really enjoy telling me how much he sexually desired my mother).

I could go on and on with the horrible shit he’s done, but what’s the point? It seems I’m the only one who sees him for what he is.

So yeah, while I wait for the next 48 hours to pass so that I can reblock him…I will make note of the friends we still have in common. And I will be asking myself, seriously, should I keep them as friends?

Yeah, poured myself a very stiff drink for tonight and I hope that I don’t have any nightmares.

All in all, it reminds me why I’m doing this banishing incense for damn sure. I want every remnant of him GONE from my life. And if that means certain mutual “friends” go as well? So fucking be it.

Rose-Infused Witch Hazel

written:  July 07

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My rose-infused witch hazel is finally done and ready to be used.

It smells DIVINE. I’m so stoked to try this out.