So Much Rage (Updated)

I don’t think I have ever wanted to just pack up and leave all this bullshit behind as badly as I do right now.

It would mean turning my back on a job that’s paying me almost $25 an hour (part time work).
It would mean turning my back on my Master’s degree…though, theoretically, I should be able to complete no matter when I ended up moving to, as it’s 98% on line.
It would mean turning my back on friends and family.
It would mean turning my back on the house we just bought a few months ago.

And yet….I’m still deeply tempted.

I haven’t been writing about all the bullshit that is going on at my job currently. Suffice it to say that someone who should NOT be working with kids…is….and that it’s turning out to be quite the ordeal to fire her.

Even though:
She’s fallen asleep numerous times on the job, while she was supposed to be supervising children.
She’s thrown a cup of water in a student’s face because that student was “irritating” her (her words).
Last year she had 40+ absences (not counting the month and a half she was institutionalized – please note, we only work 180 days).
This year she already has 4 absences (one for each week we’ve been back in school) – we only get 5 paid absences.
She’s left children unsupervised at the bathrooms numerous times, even after being told explicitly NOT to.
She’s lied about the days she had to leave early for class this year –first it was Mondays and Wednesdays. Then it was Mondays through Thursdays. Then it was all five days.
She cannot actively supervise more than 10 students MAX…on a good day. And we need to be supervising at least 13 on her own. And she CAN’T do it.

THIS is what we are dragging our feet on firing? Really?

And then today, when my supervisor finally dragged her ass out to my campus (I’ve been sitting on a write up for a WEEK now, waiting for my damn supervisor to get out to my campus), she told me that our Boss (who was my supervisor last year, when I was dealing with the first round of this bullshit with this aide) was suggesting that I was setting this aide up to fail….that I might be “picking” on this aide.

And I can’t even begin to explain how furious I was. That is such bullshit.
And in that moment, I wanted to cut my hours at work, to become a substitute supervisor and instead, start taking more classes for my Master’s degree. That way I can be done with this bullshit.

I’m just afraid of what may happen due to her negligence in the meantime. And I’m getting to the point that I’m about ready to talk to HR and possibly lodge a complaint with Child Protective Services. After all, if my bosses aren’t willing to do something to protect these children, then by god, I WILL.

Edit: Totally forgot to list the kicker on our complaints against the Horrid Aide – over the summer, my Boss got a call from a concerned citizen that told her that he and his family were eating at one of the popular local restaurants. Apparently, Horrid Aide and a number of her friends were eating there, and were LOUDLY bragging about throwing the cup of water in a child’s face, all the write-ups she’s gotten, that she takes naps on the job, and that she’s STILL working there. She bragged about working for our after school program (using the name, thus the man was able to look us up and talk to Boss Lady). And Horrid Aide and her friends were bragging about their illegal drug use. So here we have a guy that didn’t know anything about our after school program calling up Boss Lady to tell her about Horrid Aide (he knew her name, but not what actual campus she worked at), and Horrid Aide is still WORKING FOR US?!?!?!?! Are you shitting me????

Thankful Thursday 09.15.16

written yesterday

I am thankful…

1.       For a truly gorgeous full moon and a pup that seems to sincerely enjoy sitting outside, moon-gazing.  It helps encourage me to slow down and do the same.

2.       Randomly stumbling across a super simple spell that was exactly what I needed – that I didn’t even realize I needed until it was right in front of me.

3.       That even with the stupid high levels of sheer frustration at my shitty aide, Chelsea, I did not have a psychotic break and did not physically assault her.  She has no idea how close she came to catching an honest to goodness beat down.

4.       The truly amazing desk my husband built for me.  I can’t wait to set up my desktop computer and begin using that beautiful desk!

5.       A raise at work – a whole 62 cents!  ::laughs::  It ain’t much, but I will certainly take it and be very grateful for it.

6.       A good birthday celebration for my husband that included TWO trips to Red Lobster.  ::grins::

7.       Gemstones, oils, incense, candles, and other fun Pagan items.  One certainly does not NEED such items to be Pagan, but they sure are a lot of fun to utilize.

8.       My new daily habit of anointing my forehead with a star/pentagram using Sage Goddess’ Anointing Oil and setting my intentions for the day.  I definitely feel more in control when I do this and it allows me to ground and center and then give myself a pep for the coming day.

9.       That I’m finally putting all my dabbling here and there in Paganism into true Practice.  And that I can tell a noticeable difference in my Practice now.

10.   All the positive influences I really do have in my life.  From friends and family members to my creative/goofy students, to my GOOD coworkers, and even to the random nice strangers I cross paths with throughout my life, I am grateful for each and every one of them.

I Don't Believe

I do not believe in coincidences.

To say that today was a horrible work day would be a gross understatement.
The shit with Chelsea just continues. I don’t even want to rehash it here.

It basically boils down to the fact that I do not feel like upper management is taking the complaints I have with Chelsea seriously. It just seems like I’m constantly throwing writes up at her left and right and NOTHING is ever done about it.

I emailed my boss about the crap that went down today.
Basically I don’t feel like they are listening.

And then I hop over to Pinterest to look something up and I come across this spell at the top of the page:

Tonight is Full Moon, perfect time for magick. And this spell, of all the things that could have popped up on the top of my Pinterest splash page, shows up?

Yeah, I do not believe in coincidences.

Just $300 Shy

I’m only $300 shy of my goal of having $5k in savings by my birthday (Nov 10th).

This is huge for me, as a few years ago, I was barely able to pay my bills even though I was working two jobs at the time.

So not only can I pay all my bills (plus a little over, to attempt to pay off the last DAMN credit card), and have money for emergencies....but I have also managed to save $4,700!

Once I hit the $5k mark, I won’t be saving quite as aggressively. Instead, the aggressive money will go towards paying off the Last Damn Credit Card. Honestly, I may look into getting a personal loan through my bank and seeing if I can pay it off that way. My bank definitely offers a lower APR, which means I won’t be spending nearly as much on interest…more money towards the principal.

Get Your Witch On

Getting my Witch on. ::laughs::

A spell of protection and justice for Standing Rock Reservation. My view point was too beautiful to pass up…the light of the candle matching up perfectly where Sekhmet’s sun disk is!

I need to make some notes for myself about this spell. I’m trying to get serious about my Book of Shadows.

And prior to this, I decided I deserved a bubble bath and some FUN reading for myself. I had a sample of Sage Goddess’s “Surviving Mercury in Retrograde” bath fizzies, so I thought that was appropriate. And for fun reading, I picked up Book of Shadows by Phyllis Curott. The first chapter the author goes on and on about ancient Egypt calling out to her (Isis specifically). And then I pop onto Facebook to see that Hazel posted a photo from the Dallas Museum of Art – two huge photos. One of Bast (whom Hazel works with) and Sekhmet.

Apparently the Museum is hosting a “Divine Felines: Cats of Ancient Egypt” exhibit beginning in October. I can’t wait. Hazel is hopefully going with me, thought I have no problem going alone.

It all keeps syncing up. Love this Path.

The Big 1-0

Leviathan, my lavender corn snake, turns 10 years old today.
That’s one of the benefits of purchasing from a reputable breeder – not only do you get a healthy reptile but you also get to know the exact day that it hatched out.

So yes, today is Leviathan’s 10th Hatch-day!

And as tradition dictates, I make a hatch-day celebration card each year and mail it out to friends and family.

Without further ado, here is this year’s hatch-day card.

Front:

Back:

Love my lil lavender girl! Hope we still have plenty of more years together!

Thankful Thursday on a Friday

I am thankful….

1.       My husband complimenting me on how good I’m looking in my running tights.  Guess the elliptical really is beginning to pay off.  ::grins and winks::

2.       That I know the elliptical is paying off because the pair of jeans I bought back in March are pretty loose on me.  Sucks, because this means I need to purchase new jeans….but at least they will be the next size DOWN!  Woot!

3.       Things are finally becoming a little less chaotic at my after school program.  Like, we now have a WORKING phone!  Woohoo!  AND my computer can finally get on Wi-Fi!  It’s the little victories right now that makes you realize they aren’t so little.

4.       Being stronger in my personal faith and path. 

5.       Being honest with myself about my increased anxiety this past few months.  I’m still trying to figure out how to get a handle on it, but at least I’m not in denial about it.

6.       Upcoming THREE DAY WEEKEND!  Woohoo!

7.       Leviathan turns 10 years old on Monday.  I definitely need to get some good photos of her out in the yard.  She’s never experienced that before (curse you Apartment People!).  Now that we have a house, I don’t have to worry about someone saying I cannot keep my lil serpent if they see her. 

8.       The “Red Dot” laser game for Josey.  It makes it so much easier to wear her out at the end of the day.  Even if it’s tore up part of our yard from her wind sprints!  ::laughs::

9.       Longer walks with Josey in the mornings while David is using the elliptical.  I like our little neighborhood and checking out the other houses like ours.  I like seeing what other people have done to their duplex to make it unique.  And the walks do both Josey and I a lot of good.

10.   The journal from my pen pals surprised me by showing up in my mailbox earlier this week.  I wasn’t expecting it to come back around and the website we use to keep in contact wasn’t notifying me of the ongoing conversation they were having about it.  So it was a very nice surprise.  Now I just have to find the time to work in it and then pass it along.  ::grins::