Saturday, August 31, 2013

Photos 234 - 243

Photo 234:

Another shot of the resident raccoon.

Photo 235:

A charm I've made from a key I found while walking Holly.  I've empowered it to help me unlock the doors to wealth (namely to get my punk ass out of debt).

Photo 236:

A full body shot of Leviathan....she's around 5 feet long.

Photo 237:

Cute sign at Michael's.  I can't believe they already have Halloween stuff out.

Photo 238:

Turned the key charm into a necklace that I will wear daily.

Photo 239:

Jungle Leviathan.

Photo 240:

My weird snake doing a backbend.

Photo 241:

Folder that the boss made for the site supervisors at ESD (afternoon job).

Photo 242:

Resident raccoon brought a friend to dinner.

Photo 243:

Post card from Ukraine (via Postcrossing)

Photos 224 - 233

Photo 224:

Post card from China (via Postcrossing)

Photo 225:

This must be comfortable, as this is the second time I've photographer Leviathan this way.

Photo 226:

Holly in her "nest" with her "radar ear" up.

Photo 227:

Leviathan peeking out from under her turtle shell hide (it's made of cement).

Photo 228:

Raccoon is back!

Photo 229:

Leviathan

Photo 230:

Most delicious chip known to man -- crunchy Cheetos.

Photo 231:

art journal page (work in progress)

Photo 232:

Alpha (head) and Omega (tail)

Photo 233:

Leviathan stare down.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Thankful Thursday 08.30.13

I am thankful.....
  1. second week of working at Kids R Kids is over and done with....and that I have Monday off of BOTH jobs!  Woohoo!
  2. Gabriel -- my little screamer at Kids R Kids -- is doing WORLDS better and just utterly melts my heart.
  3. that Kids R Kids is paying me 50 cents MORE than what I asked for my hourly rate.  It certainly makes the job more bearable.
  4. that ESD has started back up.  I really need the money it brings in.
  5. Leviathan's being super social.  She likes to watch me when I'm over by her tank, and she'll follow me from one end to the other too!
  6. the break I get between the morning job and the afternoon job.  It's the only way I can keep my wits together.
  7. finally drinking more water like I should be.  I feel better physically for doing it.
  8. a big Pow Wow is coming up next weekend.  Hopefully David will be able to go with me.  It'll be his first!
  9. sweet baby sparrow that sang and sang to me when I came home today.
  10. almost the weekend.  I'm ready for a break.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Thankful Thursday


ART: Rainbow Fluorite - in my garden
ARTIST: andromeda

I am thankful:
  1. for the morning job going as smoothly as it has.
  2. for a full two days of training/meetings for ESD (on ESD's dime) for today and tomorrow.
  3. beautiful full moon.
  4. Mom's offered as a Christmas gift to pay for David and I to fly up and see his parents in Delaware whenever we choose (aka have the time).
  5. Pinterest having a variety of things to peak my interest.
  6. my faith and spirituality.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Sadistic Parents, I Hate You

I really should be in bed.
But I'm putting that off.  Because, when I go to bed, that makes tomorrow come all that swifter.

Day one at Kids R Kids honestly wasn't that bad.  I wasn't even frazzled by the time I got home.  Which is saying something, as I got tossed into a classroom instead of doing training, like I was supposed to.  I'm going to be in the classroom tomorrow and Wednesday too.  Had a poor kid that just screamed/cried the WHOLE time I was there.  He's 3 years old and this is the first time he's away from Mom for more than a minute.

Seriously people, get your kid socialized BEFORE then.  Tossing a 3 year old that's never been away from your side for more than a few moments, into an all day program with people he doesn't know is HORRIBLE on the kid and the teachers that have to deal with him.  If nothing else, put him in a half day program a few days a week starting when he's a year old, PLEASE, I beg of you.  Those of you who don't are some of the most sadistic people I know.

Anyways, I'm not exactly looking forward to being back with that tomorrow, hence why I'm putting off going to sleep. 
Silly, I know, as it will only make me more tired in the morning, but that's just how I roll.

Tomorrow I do the classroom in the morning and then training in the afternoon.  Gonna be a long, drawn out day for sure. 
Blah, guess it's time for me to head to bed.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Moments


ART: Lion in the Morning Light
ARTIST: DaSchu

Tomorrow is my first day working at Kids R Kids.  I think it's just going to be all paperwork and training.  I'm actually kind of hoping that's all it will be.  I'm not exactly looking forward to working with the younger kids.

I'm trying my damnest to be more positive about the situation.  It's a necessary evil, so I might as well look on the bright side.

This is what I'm having to do to get myself out of debt.  Keep looking to the future.  Visualize what life will be like without that damn credit card debit hanging over my head.

I picked up a polo shirt to wear tomorrow.  I'll get one of Kids R Kids' fancy logo ones at some point.  And I should buy another (they are $13 a pop).

My goal is to use the paychecks from Kids are Kids to build an emergency fund (Step One of Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover) of $1000.  After that, it will be extra payments on debt relief program until that's pay off and then extra payments on the Bank of America credit card to pay it off. 

The reward for paying everything off will be a trip to Wolf Park.  I seriously need a carrot to keep me going, and that trip is going to be it.  It's a whole lot cheaper than the Polar Bear trip, so I'll be able to save up for it quicker once the debt is gone.  After that, it's crazy saving for a house and then the Polar Bear trip.

I'm trying to break my bad habit of depressive thinking.  I've become a wallower.  I wallow in self-pity, self-doubt.  And I don't like it anymore.  So I'm going to work on that. 

I've agreed to do Buns of Steel with Allie.  A lot of those moves are similar to the ones I was supposed to do for physical therapy for my bad knee (but very rarely did), so it will be part working out and part PT for me.  I'm hoping it will help strengthen my knees so that I can get back to using the elliptical and start shedding some of these pounds.  I don't want to be scrawny, but I could certainly stand to loose a good 60 pounds and tone up.  I'd much rather be toned and in shape than skinny as a twig.  Hopefully by the time I'm physically able to do mixed martial arts lessons, I'll be able to afford to do them.  I want to be able to defend myself properly should the occasion ever arise.  I'm tired of being scared of becoming a victim again.  I know I should probably look into some therapy for that, but I ask you which would be better?  Talking about my fears of being a victim, or learning how to kick ass should someone be stupid enough to fuck with me?  Yeah, the fighting skills just seem better in my opinion.  And if, after learning how to defend myself, the fear is still there, then I can go to therapy and change the thinking to reflect reality.  It's not like I can only do one or the other.

So yeah, that is what is going on with me and my mind at the moment.
 

Friday, August 16, 2013

Thankful Friday

I am thankful for.....
  1. that I got the job at the Kids R Kids academy.  I go in Monday morning to begin the paperwork and training.
  2. for a nice paycheck from the Summer Camp.
  3. great time at Allie's last night...our final party for Natalie before she heads off to Texas Tech.
  4. that Jason (horrid coworker of David's) got fired on Monday, so now David doesn't have to deal with doing his job PLUS Jason's.
  5. that ESD (the after school job) starts up soon.  I have training/meetings on Thursday and Friday of next week.  Can't wait.
  6. having this time off to recharge my batteries and sleep as much as my body is needing/wanting.
  7. that Holly's jaw is doing worlds better.  She hurt it playing tug-of-war.
  8. that David's had half days yesterday and today.  It's been nice having him home.
  9. that my Discover Personal Loan is almost completely paid off.  That only leaves one credit card in the debt relief program.  I'm so ready to have that over and done with.  Still have one credit card that won't accept the debt relief program, but I can pay that one down once the program is over and I have that cash back in my own pocket. 
  10. Dave Ramsey's book and for having a plan to get  a handle on my finances.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Fasting

I've decided to Fast today.  Just from the time I got up until the time David comes home and wants to eat.  Much like the way Muslims fast for the month of Ramadan (sun up to sun down). 

I've been feeling the pull for another Vision Quest and for Sweat Lodges recently, so this is a baby step in that direction.  The Vision Quest can be up to 4 days of fasting, so a single day shouldn't be that hard.

To be honest, the day and a half I was out Crying for a Vision, it was fairly easy.  I didn't have food around to tempt me.  And I only drank what water I needed to take my birth control pills. 

But this will be more of a test, as I'm in a house full of things to eat and drink.  This will take more will power.  I need to prove to myself that I'm still strong.

I've been working on my Book of Shadows again, I'm quite happy to report.  I'm going to sign off and continue working on that.

~*~*~Edit~*~*~
The fast went quite well.  Only a few times did I feel really tempted to break it prematurely.

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Photos 216 - 223

Photo 216:

David's newest guitar project.

Photo 217:

Trying to help myself get a handle on my money crisis.

Photo 218:

Final book in the Other World Series.  So good.

Photo 219:

Art Journaling magazine....was a total impulse buy that I regretted afterwards.  And you can't return magazines so I'm stuck with it.  I doubt I'll be buying any more of these.

Photo 220:

One of the very few times I've strayed from my White Chocolate Mocha.  This is a Valencia Orange Refresher and was delicious!

Photo 221:

Holly sitting pretty under a blanket.

Photo 222:

Cooking the chicken portion of the Cheesy Skillet Chicken Parmesan.  Delicious!

Photo 223:

Getting caught up on my Runes.

Friday, August 9, 2013

BRILLIANT!

So I was goofing off on Etsy, as I'm wont to do on these days I have nothing of importance on my plate.  It's either that or sleep and I'm trying to sleep less as I don't really NEED 14 hours each day.

Anyways!  So I just typed in "altar" into the search engine as I love looking at what other people consider altars or do with their altars.  I love the Pagan inspiration that I can Pagan-ly steal and use in my own way.  *laughs*  I mean, "stealing" IDEAS, not items.  I try to keep my theft to the minimum, you know.

Off track again....so I came across these little "altars".




And just like that, Inspiration fluttered down and SMITED me mightily.  I'm still reeling from it.

These would be easier and CHEAPER to do than decorating the altar.  I still plan to decorate my altar shelf with beads and crystals and all sorts of gemstone goodness,  But that shit's expensive.

But these.....these I could make out of clay.  One for each direction and a little tea-light inside for ritual.  Or little symbols of each direction inside if I don't wish to use tea-lights.





East could have a yellow background and I could press feathers into the clay for texture.
South could be red and have flames draw into the clay.
West could be blue and have waves or seashells pressed into the clay.
North could be green or brown and have leaves and stones pressed into the clay.

There are a ton of clay recipes on Pinterest that I could play around with and see what works best.  I'm thinking the air-dry white clay would be a good way to go.

Maybe, just maybe, this could work.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Ponies and Mentality


ART: Norwegian Fjord Horse
ARTIST: nordfold

I'm here. Surviving.

I've figured out that I have to have something to do or I'll just sleep the day away.
I've been off work all this week as last Friday was the last day of Summer Camp.  Boy am I glad that crap is over.
But now, it's like I don't know what to do with myself.

I've done loads of dishes.
Loads of laundry. 
I should really tackle the bathroom big time.  David is itching to leave this apartment complex as soon as our lease is up in February.  I highly doubt we'll have the money to be able to do that.  *shrugs*  But that's one thing I will say about my husband.  If he sets his mind to it, it gets DONE.  I wish I were the same way.

Mental health is on the decline again.  *shakes her head*  What's new there?
I hate that I hear myself using it as an excuse.  Just tossing it out there for anything and everything.
It's either "my bipolar this" or "my anxiety that", or sometimes "my fucked up meds".  I HATE that I've become this whiny lil bitch that tries to pawn everything off on being "sick", while not doing a damn thing to fix the situation.

Seven weeks until I see my psychiatrist and we have a serious heart to heart about all this crap.  List of my current complaints:
- desire to cut has reared its nasty lil head again in full force
- depression occurs at the drop of a hat and lasts for days on end
- I'm sleeping 12+ hours half the time now
- no creativity what-so-ever

I even picked up the newest edition of the Art Journaling magazine (a total impulse buy I regretted the next day), and even THAT did not spark any desire to dust off my art journals.  *sighs*  It sucks.

But the upswing of things (because I refuse to just wallow in the muck the whole time here):
- staying on track with my Thankful Thursdays (will be posting the one I wrote today later on)
- am enjoying reading Dave Ramsey's book AND the final book in the Otherworld series (sooooo good)
- I've got David's birthday presents planned.  Awesome Batman cookies will be ordered on the 11th of this month to make sure I get them in by his birthday.  And Allie has agreed to sew David a Batman cape.  Just need to pick up the fabric for that and a Batman birthday card and I'm good to go.

Other than that, I've just been enjoying my days of NOT working and looking forward to being back at ESD again.  I'm ready for the school year to start up.  I miss my students.

Oh yes, before I forget again, the horse photo at the top of the entry -- I dreamt last night that I had a horse just like it, named Haflinger (and yes I know that a Haflinger is a breed of horse).  And I rode him bareback, using my weight and position to direct him where I wanted to go.  And he protected me from a pair of thugs that wanted to mug me.  Bit one on the hand and threw him and grabbed the other by the shoulder and we took him to the police station.  My awesome horse. 

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Photos 209 - 215

Photo 209:

currently reading

Photo 210:

LegoLand fieldtrip

Photo 211:

Pretty moth

Photo 212:

Application

Photo 213:

Lamma Ritual altar.

Photo 214:

Sponge Bob made of fuse beads by Jesse, my boss.

Photo 215:

Cat rescues at Petsmart

Thankful Thursday

written August 1st

I am thankful for:
1.  Mandarin oranges -- deliciously sweet and cold treat on these hot summer days.
2.  the summer has been quite mild thus far -- it's been great.
3.  that tomorrow is the last day of the Summer's Cool Camp -- I am so burnt out.
4.  dreaming of polar bears to help remind me of my big goals in life.
5.  DeviantArt.com is allowing me to learn about the beliefs and practices of other Pagans, that inspires me to adapt my own practices.
6.  positive review this time at Summer Camp -- 1st review was pretty negative.
7.  tiny baby bunny David and I saw last night.
8.  free lunches at Summer Camp -- I'm going to miss that
9.  scented candles
10.  air conditioning

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Lammas


Lammas
from: Hecate's Corner

Blessed Lammas!

Lammas, also called Lughnasadh, is a Pagan holy day on August 1st, marking the first harvest of the season.  It's a fire celebration and a time to count one's blessings.

I did a small ritual for myself.  It had two parts. 

Part 1 was counting my blessings.
I did a list of 5 things I'm thankful for:
1. good health for me and my household.
2. that I passed the Generalist 4 - 8 teaching test.
3. having a safe and secure home.
4. my husband.
5. my creativity and passions.

Part 2 was setting goals to be accomplished by the next harvest ritual, Mabon (Sept 22nd).
Goals:
1. apply for teaching jobs.
2. read the two finance books my Mom let me borrow.
3. write a gratitude list every Thursday.
4. continue celebrating the Sabbats (holy days) and Esbats (Full Moons), on my own or with the Coven.
5. no more smoking period.

I had five Mandarin orange slices that I empowered with each of my goals.  I spoke aloud that I was taking into my body whatever it is that I need to possess to accomplish each goal.  And then I spoke each goal aloud as I ate the orange slice.  Delicious.  The remaining nectar I named as the Nectar of the Gods, that it would be Their blessings upon me, to rekindle my connection with my own internal divine spark to be able to accomplish each of my goals.  And I drank it down. 

Then I ended the ritual and am enjoying the quiet solitude of the day. 

I plan to sit down with each goal and break them into whatever steps I need to take to accomplish them. 

I'll add the photo of the altar later on, when I upload photos.